Lists

Some people love lists. A site like RateBeer is basically nothing but lists. Nothing wrong with that. For some members that's clearly its main attraction. They're always coming up with lists generated from their own ratings and inviting others to post their versions. Maybe it's time for me to come up with some lists of my own.

(The entries that follow are in no particular order. I've just plucked out some of my favourites and listed them in a random order. Trying to come up with an ordered list would just take too long.)


Beer-drinking destination

This isn't just about where has the best quality or variety of beer, although these factors play a part. Really, it's where I enjoy going on the piss most.


Amsterdam. Choosing my hometown is a bit of a cheat. But Amsterdam is pretty good for beer. Wildeman, Arends Nest, Het Ij, Engelbewaarder, Gollem, Gollem II, Hesp, De Beiaard, Bekeerde Suster, Elfde Gebod. That's just the beer specialist places. I'll never stop if I get started on great pubs with a limited beer range.

Salzburg. Often overlooked by beer-lovers (as is Austria as a whole), there's much to drink in this manageably-sized city. A couple of great local breweries - Weissbräu and Augustiner - and a couple of reasonable ones - S'Kloan and Stiegel is a good start. Add a plentiful supply of good pubs - Augustiner, Sternbräu, Stiegelkeller and many, many more - and you have a real winner.

Forchheim. It may seem perverse to pick Forchheim over Bamberg. But perversity is what I'm all about. At 9 AM, there's no place in the world I'd rather be than Forchheim. Crazy Hebendanz of laidback Neder. There's something for every mood. You could even try Eichhorn if you want to be all posh.

Prague. In the 1980's, Prague was my idea of heaven. I've still never found anywhere closer to it here on earth. Universally good beer, great pubs, friendly people, low, low prices. There was a period after the restoration of capitalism where my affections strayed, but the city has bounced back. U Cerneho Vola, U Kocoura, Pivovarsky Dum and, naturally, the incomparable U Rotundy.

Leipzig. This one can be explained in a single word: Gose. I haven't been able to get Gose out of my head since I first heard of it. There are a few excellent palces to drink Gose in Leipzig: Bayerischer Bahnhof, Sinfonie and, of course, the place where its revival started, Ohne Bedenken.

Copenhagen. There's but a remarkble transformation of the beer scene in Denmark's capital. Some truly wonderful beer bars - plan B, Pegas; a cask ale specialist - Charlie's Bar; an outstanding beer restaurant - Tatoverede Enke; and several brewpubs - BrewPub København, Nørrebro Bryghus. The city is beautiful, human-scaled and friendly, too. There's only one downside: the prices.

Düsseldorf. Again a single word will do: Altbier. The four city-centre brewpubs don't just make outstanding beer, they're great places to drink it, too. They all have a wonderfully varied clientele, from all ages and classes of society. That's something you don't see often. And the Alt just keeps on coming until you tell them to stop.


Brewery

De Molen. I couldn't omit where my beers are brewed. Menno, is a great bloke as well as a skilled brewer. He brews a long list of excellent beers, my favourites being Tsarina Esra and Rasputin.

Hofmann. Frau Hofmann only brews one regular beer, but what a great beer it is. Unusual, distinctive, wonderfully drinkable. It's a pity she already has a husband.

Schlenkerla. A bit obvious, this one. Still, some of their beers are so outstanding I couldn't ignore them. Urbock robust, complex and uncompromising. Helles, on the other hand, is delicate and subtle. Their other beers cobver everything inbetween. Great range.

St. Bernardus. Another one I couldn't miss out. I drink so much Abt, I have to include them. 6, 8 and 12 - one is suitable for every occasion. Like Wednesday or Tuesday. That sort of occasion.

Harvey's. One of the last remaining established independent breweries in the South of England. They brew a series of classic English ales. Sussex Best Bitter, now King & Barnes and Brakspear's have gone, is one of the few traditional Southern Bitters left. Their Imperial Stout is the closest to a genuine 19th century beer brewed anywhere. Should they close, I would be heartbroken.

Bernard. One of a very small number of Czech breweries that stuck with open fermenters out of choice, rather than because they couldn't afford conical fermenters. Their 12º pale Kvasnicové was the best beer I tried last time in the Czech Republic.

Nils Oscar. Micros come and go in Sweden. This one has managed to stay the course longer than most. They brew a could range of top-fermenting beers, including a particularly tasty Imperial Stout. What's even better, I can buy it in Amsterdam.

Cooper's. What would I have done without Cooper's in Australia? Become a wine-drinker, probably. Their Stout, earthy and coarse, is still one of my favourites. And who could fail to love a beer as inappropriately-named as their Sprarkling Ale?



Pub

Augustiner, Salzburg. My favourite beerhall. The little indoor market for stuff to make your own sandwiches is wonderful. As are the little old ladies in Sunday best, complete with hat, sipping a litre of beer. Everything about the place is charming and perfect. Worth crawling a few miles over broken glass to experience.

plan-B, Copenhagen. A very unpublike establishment, that looks more like a cafe or cakeshop inside. The beer selection is gloriously eclectic and a little bit eccentric. I'm not sure even the landlord is 100% certain of what is hidden away in corners.

Mathäser, Stuttgart. I have mixed feelings about Stuttgart. Despite its outer ugliness, there is something likeable about the city. Breaking my ankle there did strain our relationship, but its charm prevailed. The evening before my ankle break, spent in Mathäser, was one of pure joy. A beautiful pub filled with beautiful people. The beer - a full set of Löwenbräu products - isn't bad either.

Zum Uerige, Düsseldorf. You just can't be miserable in some pubs. If Uerige doesn't bring a smile to your face, you may as well throw yourself in the nearby Rhine. Their Alt is killer, too.

Wildeman, Amsterdam. There are beer pubs all over the world that have a good range of Belgian beer. But how many sell any quantity of good German beer? Tell me if there's another, because Wildeman is the only one I know of. Special events, like their British and German beer weeks, really are something to look forward to. Excellent, but not resting on its laurels and still trying to improve. My local.

U Rotundy, Prague. This is another of my perverse choices (especially for you, Stonch). A smoky dive full of weird locals. It doesn't even have any particularly good beer, only Staropramen 10º. For reasons even I don't understand, I just adore the place.

Olofspoort, Amsterdam. Simply the most beautiful pub in Amsterdam. Is there anywhere in the world that looks better? I seriously doubt it. The landlady is friendly, attentive and always welcoming. Then there's the jenever selection, one of the best in Amsterdam. There's only Affligem for the beer-lover to drink, but that's irrelevant. The atmosphere is magical.

Hebendanz, Forchheim. It may now be a smokers' club (probably not for long, as I expect the law will change to close that particular loophole) but it's still a great pub. Wall-to-wall weirdos, but totally unthreatening. The beer isn't bad, either, gravity-served Export. And only 1.80 euros a half litre.

Augustiner Grossgaststätte, Munich. If only every high street had a pub this good on it. A classic beerhall, with several massive rooms, speedy waiters and Edelstoff from a wooden cask.

The Canada, Melbourne. I haven't been in since 1991, so perhaps this belongs iin the timewarp section. When walking home in 40º C heat, a pits stop in the Canada was the perfect pause. A quick schooner of draught Cooper's Stout was the most delicious beer imaginable.

I would have liked to select a Newark pub. Sadly, all the good ones are currently derelict.


Time travel Pub

Many of my favourite pubs have closed or changed beyond recognition. I've given the year so you know how to set the dials of your time machine.


The Whip, Leeds, 1978. A pub hidden down an alleyway in the centre of Leeds. A Tetley's pub, of course. It had two quite distinct rooms. The front room, which Harry called "the industrial accident bar" was full of weirdly-shaped old blokes watching racing on the telly. The back room had an amazing 1950's jukebox that played records vertically and was full of old Teds. As a leftover from its days as a men-only pub, when I first visied it had no ladies bogs.

The Wing Tavern, 1974. My first pint of cask beer, Barnsley Bitter, was drunk in the Wing. A tiny pub, with no frontage on the street, it survived against the odds for decades. I suppose the site was just not worth much as anything else. Currently derelict and looking very forlorn.

U Dobrého Kata, Brno, 1985. You may be starting to detect a theme of craziness. This was another dive full of drunks. I spent a mad evening there in the summer of 1985. I came home without a shirt. The name means "The Good Executioner". It was converted into a milkbar around 1987.

Baker's Arms, Swindon, 1989. The formica fittings were so 1950's. The landlord and his wife looked as if they had been installed when the pub had last been done up. Now there was real retro chic. They had near-perfect Arkell's BBB.

The George and Vulture, London, 1984. Crazy name, but a great unspoilt Fuller's pub. Where I learned to love London Pride. I was only slightly put off it when two local psychos set about the landlord with an iron bar.



Beer

Tetley's Mild. Undoubtedly the beer of which I've drunk the most. By a very long way. Malty, unassuming, but delicious when on form. Let's hope it stays that way.

St. Bernardus Abt. Could well be closing in on Tetley's Mild. A beer that never disappoints. Rich, complex and fruity, but not overpowered by the alcohol, as it so easily could be.

Schlenkerla Urbock. A heady mix of smoke, hop and malt, it's one of the most complex German beers. Great from the bottle, a world-beater from the cask.

Courage Russian Stout. The best ever brewed. The best I've tried, at least. The soulless bastards at S & N discontinued it after over 200 years of just about continuous production. I hope my recreation will come somewhere close to its excellence.

Het Ij Struis. I really had to pick at least one local beer. When it's on form, Struis is a chocolatey delight.