Floaters: the bad kind

CAMRA brainwashing while still at impressionable age means that I'm an eager proponent of bits in beer. As long as none end up in my glass. But there are bits and bits.

My mate Lucas was round my house yesterday. He wanted to watch Middlesbrough vs Arsenal. Flash bastard that I am, I have Sport One on the cable. They show every Premiership game live. It's dead handy. Though I watch rather fewer games than I would have expected. Working fulltime makes my weekend freedom a rare and precious resource. Lucas is an Arsenal fan. He usually drinks lager. But I'm a generous chap and I forgive him both of those terrible faults.

When I say lager, I mean the pale, dull sort sold as "Pils" in the Netherlands. Now I'm a big fan of lager, but not that sort. So when it comes to offering Lucas a beer things are a bit hit and miss. Pils isn't something I regulalrly buy, especially Dutch Pils. So he has to make do with whatever I happen to have lying around the house. There's always something. I never seem to be able to reduce the size of my beer pile. It currently occupies about a third of the living room floor. Some of the less fashionable items have been there a while.

Yesterday I fished out a bottle of Alfa Edel Pils. It's one of Lucas's favourite beers. But there was a hitch. I couldn't remember buying it. Bad sign. And the crown cork was showing signs of rust. Even worse sign. We decided to give it a go anyway.

Floaters. It was full of floaters. Nasty little lumps. In a filtered beer, an incredibly bad sign. I wouldn't have drunk, so I couldn't force Lucas to. I fished out another beer from the pile. A less ancient one. Dolores was happy - the pile was two beers smaller. If this continues for the rest of the football season, as much as 15% of the pile may disappear.

Arsenal lost, by the way. Sad for Lucas, but great for me. I like Arsenal less Bavaria Pils.