Monday, 16 July 2012
More Munich
Football. There's a game on tonight. The quarter final between England and Italy. I can't face the torment of watching England play without anaesthetic. What better place to find it than Augustinerkeller?
Did I mention how much I like Augustiner? It's lovely stuff served Bayerischer Anstich. Both the Helles and Edelstoff. I can't understand the hate some have for Edelstoff. Subtly delicious is how I find it. Doubtless if you've been abusing your tastebuds with clumsy hop bombs, you'll find it bland. But that's your porblem, not mine.
Despite the slightly iffy weather there's a good crowd. I fetch myself a litre from the beer shed and set about demolishing it. At least I would do if my first long draught didn't reveal my terrible mistake: I've picked up a Radler. No way I'm drinking that. I pour it into the gravel at my feet and fecth a proper beer. That's better. Don't want to drink any of that sugary poison. No knowing what it might do to my delicate system.
I'm halfway down my second litre when the game starts. Luckily there's a giant screen close to where I'm sitting. To be honest, I could do with some smack. Something to mellow me out and dull the inevitable pain. But I'm going to have to make do with beer.
Pretty much all of the EU is represented in the group watching the game. It's easy to spot the English. They're the ones swearing and shouting and holding their heads in their hands. The Italians are much more restrained. It's our fiery English temperament, you know. That and the fact we all turn into frothing maniacs as soon as someone starts kicking a footbal.
The crowd is distracting my attention from the game. Which is no bad thing. Following it attently would only make the agony more acute. When the inevitable penalties come around, I'm dying for a leak. I'm in the bog for the first two England penalties. Just as well. I do make it back in time to catch the downcast looks of the England players as they head out on penalties yet again.
I don't feel like any more beer. Less might be a better idea. But I don't feel like vomitting. More like crying. I can't be arsed to work out which tram to take and walk back to my hotel. I'm feeling a bit peckish when I get to Hauptbahnhof and nip inside for a bratwurst. Very nice. Why aren't there sausage stands in Dutch stations?
It's about midnight when I get back. Time to kick out some z's.
Augustinerkeller
Arnulfstr.52, Ecke Zirkus-Krone-Str.
80335 München-Neuhausen.
Tel. 089 - 594393
Fax 089 - 5504415
Email: arnulfstrasse@augustinerkeller.de
http://www.augustinerkeller.de/
Did I mention how much I like Augustiner? It's lovely stuff served Bayerischer Anstich. Both the Helles and Edelstoff. I can't understand the hate some have for Edelstoff. Subtly delicious is how I find it. Doubtless if you've been abusing your tastebuds with clumsy hop bombs, you'll find it bland. But that's your porblem, not mine.
Despite the slightly iffy weather there's a good crowd. I fetch myself a litre from the beer shed and set about demolishing it. At least I would do if my first long draught didn't reveal my terrible mistake: I've picked up a Radler. No way I'm drinking that. I pour it into the gravel at my feet and fecth a proper beer. That's better. Don't want to drink any of that sugary poison. No knowing what it might do to my delicate system.
I'm halfway down my second litre when the game starts. Luckily there's a giant screen close to where I'm sitting. To be honest, I could do with some smack. Something to mellow me out and dull the inevitable pain. But I'm going to have to make do with beer.
Pretty much all of the EU is represented in the group watching the game. It's easy to spot the English. They're the ones swearing and shouting and holding their heads in their hands. The Italians are much more restrained. It's our fiery English temperament, you know. That and the fact we all turn into frothing maniacs as soon as someone starts kicking a footbal.
The crowd is distracting my attention from the game. Which is no bad thing. Following it attently would only make the agony more acute. When the inevitable penalties come around, I'm dying for a leak. I'm in the bog for the first two England penalties. Just as well. I do make it back in time to catch the downcast looks of the England players as they head out on penalties yet again.
I don't feel like any more beer. Less might be a better idea. But I don't feel like vomitting. More like crying. I can't be arsed to work out which tram to take and walk back to my hotel. I'm feeling a bit peckish when I get to Hauptbahnhof and nip inside for a bratwurst. Very nice. Why aren't there sausage stands in Dutch stations?
It's about midnight when I get back. Time to kick out some z's.
Augustinerkeller
Arnulfstr.52, Ecke Zirkus-Krone-Str.
80335 München-Neuhausen.
Tel. 089 - 594393
Fax 089 - 5504415
Email: arnulfstrasse@augustinerkeller.de
http://www.augustinerkeller.de/
Sunday, 15 July 2012
Mike's trip
This is Mike's version of our first few days away:
Our first stop in Bavaria was Falkenberg - a tiny, but very striking village that supports three Zoigl stuben. The weather was beautiful and the streets were quiet. As only one stube is open at a time, we enjoyed a lovely dinner in the garden behind their place and slowly wandered back to our accommodations.
The next morning, I decided to walk down to the village and pick up some coffee and cakes. Halfway down to the main road, a middle-aged woman wearing a backpack that towered over her head asked me if I was local. No, I said. Well, I'm looking for a bakery, she replied. Me too!
We carried on down the hill together and came upon an older man. He, it turned out, was indeed local and directed us to the all-in-one shop in the village. So, fresh coffee and cake in hand, I headed back up the hill. Lovely beginning to day two.
The Windischeschenbach/Neuhaus twins didn't thrill me - that deep gorge that divided them seemed to underline their determination to remain apart. Yes, between the two parts, there are probably more Zoigl stuben than any other village in the Oberpfalz. But those hills! Yes, the beers, the stuben, food, locations were all brilliant, but those hills!
The next stop was Neuhaus - a different one. The official name is Neuhaus an der Pegnitz. This Neuhaus had no Zoigl, but it did have a communal brewery and three pubs that used it. They also used the six-pointed star common to Zoigl, but they described it (on their beermats) as "the sign of good beer."
We ended up a Kommunbrauer Paul Reindl, which may be the most commercial of the three brewers. The beer may well have been the best beer I experienced on this trip. It was certainly more complex than most of the other beers on the trip and it slid down the throat easily enough. Second only to the beer was the food. In fact, the food/beer offering was so good, we had both lunch and dinner there. Definitely worth a visit.
In Bamberg, I had planned to visit two beer gardens up a hill from the main part of town. I found a bus that brought us to the top and then an easy walk down. Unfortunately, we got there a little too early and none had opened yet. Making a note of the opening time, I went back later on my own. I was not thrilled with the garden or the beer at Wilde Rose, but the Spezial keller knocked me out!
Spezial is located on top of an open field that looks out on the city. The views are really quite sensational. And, they have beer (I'm pretty sure it was bayrischer anstich, but there was only waiter service) and lots of food. Brilliant place. Now that I know the opening times, I'll be back.
After Bamberg, we eventually worked our way to Pegnitz. Like it's neighbour (Neuhaus a.d. Pegnitz), it also had something a bit like a communal beer, even with its own name - Flinderer. Similarly to Zoigl, there is a Flinderer calendar showing which one pub is serving it. Unfortunately, the pub that day was out of town and the weather wasn't nice enough for the long walk, so I headed into Pegnitz and hoped to find something.
It turns out the beer has a "brand name": Böheim. I found a pub, a real local's pub, btw, and found myself sitting behind a Helles. It was quite nice and the landlady explained to me that the Flinderer was actually a slightly higher alcohol version (5.5 vs. 4.9 percent) of the beer I was drinking. The beer was nice enough for a second. I would have had a third, but my bus was leaving and missing it might leave me stranded.
Pegnitz, the town, is nothing special, however, there is a good deal of good beer in the general area (though not in Pegnitz itself), so a return visit could be in order.

The next morning, I decided to walk down to the village and pick up some coffee and cakes. Halfway down to the main road, a middle-aged woman wearing a backpack that towered over her head asked me if I was local. No, I said. Well, I'm looking for a bakery, she replied. Me too!
We carried on down the hill together and came upon an older man. He, it turned out, was indeed local and directed us to the all-in-one shop in the village. So, fresh coffee and cake in hand, I headed back up the hill. Lovely beginning to day two.
The Windischeschenbach/Neuhaus twins didn't thrill me - that deep gorge that divided them seemed to underline their determination to remain apart. Yes, between the two parts, there are probably more Zoigl stuben than any other village in the Oberpfalz. But those hills! Yes, the beers, the stuben, food, locations were all brilliant, but those hills!

We ended up a Kommunbrauer Paul Reindl, which may be the most commercial of the three brewers. The beer may well have been the best beer I experienced on this trip. It was certainly more complex than most of the other beers on the trip and it slid down the throat easily enough. Second only to the beer was the food. In fact, the food/beer offering was so good, we had both lunch and dinner there. Definitely worth a visit.
In Bamberg, I had planned to visit two beer gardens up a hill from the main part of town. I found a bus that brought us to the top and then an easy walk down. Unfortunately, we got there a little too early and none had opened yet. Making a note of the opening time, I went back later on my own. I was not thrilled with the garden or the beer at Wilde Rose, but the Spezial keller knocked me out!
Spezial is located on top of an open field that looks out on the city. The views are really quite sensational. And, they have beer (I'm pretty sure it was bayrischer anstich, but there was only waiter service) and lots of food. Brilliant place. Now that I know the opening times, I'll be back.
After Bamberg, we eventually worked our way to Pegnitz. Like it's neighbour (Neuhaus a.d. Pegnitz), it also had something a bit like a communal beer, even with its own name - Flinderer. Similarly to Zoigl, there is a Flinderer calendar showing which one pub is serving it. Unfortunately, the pub that day was out of town and the weather wasn't nice enough for the long walk, so I headed into Pegnitz and hoped to find something.
It turns out the beer has a "brand name": Böheim. I found a pub, a real local's pub, btw, and found myself sitting behind a Helles. It was quite nice and the landlady explained to me that the Flinderer was actually a slightly higher alcohol version (5.5 vs. 4.9 percent) of the beer I was drinking. The beer was nice enough for a second. I would have had a third, but my bus was leaving and missing it might leave me stranded.
Pegnitz, the town, is nothing special, however, there is a good deal of good beer in the general area (though not in Pegnitz itself), so a return visit could be in order.
Munich
It's boiling hot again. And Salzburg station is still a mess. Taking the rickety staircase over the tracks again, I spot something on top of the old glass canopy: a two-headed Austro-Hungarian eagle. You don't see those every day.
As I said before, I'm sure the station will be very nice when it's finished. One bit that is ready is a big Spar supermarket. Now that's handy. And it's open on Sunday, which is what today is. Best stock up for the journey. The beer selection isn't great, Eggenberg Urbock excepted.. But there is a good choice of 20 cl bottles of impulse schnaps. I'm soon sorted. Shit. What about food?
Not to worry. I'm bound to find something in Munich.
The air conditioning isn't working in the first carriage I sit in. Yet there's a girl with a blanket over her legs. And she's sitting on the sunny side. Must be some sort of reptile.
The next carriage is much cooler. And has vacant seats. Just in front are two thirtyish heavy metal couples. One of the blokes is wearing headphones but I can hear the beat: chucka-chucka-chuck-chuck-chucka-chucka-chung-chucka-chucka-chuck-chuck. Sounds like a real toe-tapping tune.
Just over the German border the view is spectacular. The railway line hugs the edge of the Alps. Big, bulky rocky masses, like a row of crumbling office towers. This is fun. Especially as I've opened my schnaps. The spirity goodness is running through my veins and doing my spirit good. I'm not even sweating.
The countryside gets flatter and the mountains recede to the horizon as the train approaches Munich. I know exactly what I want to do once I hit town. Go to several pubs, drink lots of beer and eat loads of sausages. It's a simple plan. And one with a good chance of success. Pubs, beer and sausages aren't exactly rare in Munich.
My hotel not being far from Weisses Brauhaus, that seems the obvious place to start. It's busy, but not full. What beer do I want? I'm tempted to get an Eisbock. That's what I normally get. And an Aventinus schnaps to keep it company. Feeling adventurous, I choose a Hopfen Weisse instead. It's good. Shockingly good, with a mix of citrussy hops and wheat beer spiciness that I would never have expected to work.
Remember the sausage part of my plan? Weisses Brauhaus is the perfect place to implement it. They a have a sausage plate that's, er, a plate full of sausages. Exactly what I need.
I love Weisses Brauhaus. The feel, the look, the smell, the dirndls. I'll always pick a place with didndled waitresses above one where they wear normal clothes. Usually in Weisses Brauhaus you get waitresses the wrong side of fifty. Motherly women, who may frown when you order that fifth schnaps in half an hour. This time it's a young black woman who brings my food and beer. Very different.
There's an oompah band playing in the corner. Never seen that here before. All the musicians are drinking beer like sensible people. Being on the next table, they're difficult to ignore.
Next stop is a recent addition to my Munich circuit: Der Pschorr. It's a massive, modern, slightly trendy boozer in the Viktualienmarkt. It looks like it used to be a covered market. Yes, it's that big. Modern, trendy - doesn't sound like my sort of place, does it? There's one feature I haven't mentioned yet that makes it very definitely my sort of place: Bayerischer Anstich. There, sitting on the bar is a pot-bellied barrel from which Hacker-Pschorr Helles flows.
It's the afternoon lull between eating shifts. I take up a place inside close to the lovely barrel. All the other customers are ouside. Here it's just me and the staff. It being quiet, they're in a relaxed mood and having fun. As they evening shift arrives, they banter with the staff already on duty.
"We've 300 reservations for tonight, haven't we?"
"No. Only 284."
A third waiter says "All upstairs." He must be the downstairs waiter.
The barrel is smaller than when I've been here in the evening. Then it looks hogshead-sized, something like 200 litres. This one looks more like a firkin. The beer is soft, süffig and beautifully carbonated. It looks great in the glass. The way it tumbles and swirls from the tap reminds me of Ally Pally. And how Dunkirk Pale Ale looked as it was served by gravity. How can you get such a good head on beer served such a simple way.
While I'm hoovering up my beer the barrel finishses and a new one is rolled in. The theatre is another great thing about Bayerischer Anstich. The cermonial bringing in and lifting of the barrel. Then the ring of the tap as it's hammered home. It brings a tear to my eye and a lump to my wallet. Throat. That's what I mean. I'm always confusing wallet and throat. Or is it trousers?
I keep singing "Kinder an der Macht" to myself. They played it in Kachelofen in Pottenstein the other night. It literally brought tears to my eye. "Die Welt gehört in Kinderhände." Can't argue with that. Just let me dry my eyes a bit. Must have got some dust in them.
Next I head over towards the Hofbräuhaus. I'm not going in the Hofbräuhaus. I'd rather stick needles in my eyes. Or pull off my fingernails with pliers. I'm going somewhere much nicer. Where I'll get the only view of the Hofbräuhaus I like: from the outside. The terrace of Ayingers Speis und Trank is the perfect spot for that.
I order, just for a change, a Dunkles. It smells very milky. Like baby sick, but without the acidity. It doesn't taste like they sell very much. It's OK, apart from a slight acidity.
A large family of Spanish speakers are sitting opposite. I'd take a photo, but the father looks like a Columbian drugs baron. He might not take too kindly to being snapped. I quite like my lungs where they are inside my ribcage. Cute teenage daughter, too. Which is why I'm looking anywhere but her direction. I'd like to keep my dangly bits attached to my body.
My afternoon crawl ends in Nürnberger Bratwurstglöckl. Tongue-twister of a name, but a lovely little pub. I had to come back. Twelve months ago I drank one of the year's most satisfying and enjoyable beers here. An unpretentious Augustiner Helles that hit the spot so hard it spent three months recovering in hospital. Mmm . . . Bayerischer Anstich. Not quite as orgasmic as last year. Still a lovely drop. Subtle without being bland. Best have a second to make sure it wasn't a one-off.
Time now for a quick lie down to recharge my batteries for the evening session. And to think about exactly which pubs I feel like hitting.
Weisses Bräuhaus
Tal 7,
80331 München.
Tel. 089 - 299 875
Fax: 089 - 290 13815
http://www.weisses-brauhaus.de/
Der Pschorr
Viktualienmarkt 15,
80331 München.
Tel. +49 (0)89 / 5 18 18 500
Fax: +49 (0)89 / 5 18 18 545
Email: info@der-pschorr.de
http://www.derpschorr.de
Ayingers Speis und Trank
Am Platzl 1A,
80331 München.
Tel. 089 - 23 703 666
Fax: 089 - 23 703 800
http://www.platzl.de/gastronomie/wirtshaus-ayingers/wirtshaus-ayingers.html
Nürnberger Bratwurstglöckl
Frauenplatz 9,
80331 München (Munich).
Tel. 089 - 220385
Fax: 089 - 2904736
Email: info@bratwurst-gloeckl.de
http://www.bratwurst-gloeckl.de/
As I said before, I'm sure the station will be very nice when it's finished. One bit that is ready is a big Spar supermarket. Now that's handy. And it's open on Sunday, which is what today is. Best stock up for the journey. The beer selection isn't great, Eggenberg Urbock excepted.. But there is a good choice of 20 cl bottles of impulse schnaps. I'm soon sorted. Shit. What about food?
Not to worry. I'm bound to find something in Munich.
The air conditioning isn't working in the first carriage I sit in. Yet there's a girl with a blanket over her legs. And she's sitting on the sunny side. Must be some sort of reptile.
The next carriage is much cooler. And has vacant seats. Just in front are two thirtyish heavy metal couples. One of the blokes is wearing headphones but I can hear the beat: chucka-chucka-chuck-chuck-chucka-chucka-chung-chucka-chucka-chuck-chuck. Sounds like a real toe-tapping tune.
Just over the German border the view is spectacular. The railway line hugs the edge of the Alps. Big, bulky rocky masses, like a row of crumbling office towers. This is fun. Especially as I've opened my schnaps. The spirity goodness is running through my veins and doing my spirit good. I'm not even sweating.
The countryside gets flatter and the mountains recede to the horizon as the train approaches Munich. I know exactly what I want to do once I hit town. Go to several pubs, drink lots of beer and eat loads of sausages. It's a simple plan. And one with a good chance of success. Pubs, beer and sausages aren't exactly rare in Munich.
My hotel not being far from Weisses Brauhaus, that seems the obvious place to start. It's busy, but not full. What beer do I want? I'm tempted to get an Eisbock. That's what I normally get. And an Aventinus schnaps to keep it company. Feeling adventurous, I choose a Hopfen Weisse instead. It's good. Shockingly good, with a mix of citrussy hops and wheat beer spiciness that I would never have expected to work.
Remember the sausage part of my plan? Weisses Brauhaus is the perfect place to implement it. They a have a sausage plate that's, er, a plate full of sausages. Exactly what I need.
I love Weisses Brauhaus. The feel, the look, the smell, the dirndls. I'll always pick a place with didndled waitresses above one where they wear normal clothes. Usually in Weisses Brauhaus you get waitresses the wrong side of fifty. Motherly women, who may frown when you order that fifth schnaps in half an hour. This time it's a young black woman who brings my food and beer. Very different.
There's an oompah band playing in the corner. Never seen that here before. All the musicians are drinking beer like sensible people. Being on the next table, they're difficult to ignore.
Next stop is a recent addition to my Munich circuit: Der Pschorr. It's a massive, modern, slightly trendy boozer in the Viktualienmarkt. It looks like it used to be a covered market. Yes, it's that big. Modern, trendy - doesn't sound like my sort of place, does it? There's one feature I haven't mentioned yet that makes it very definitely my sort of place: Bayerischer Anstich. There, sitting on the bar is a pot-bellied barrel from which Hacker-Pschorr Helles flows.
It's the afternoon lull between eating shifts. I take up a place inside close to the lovely barrel. All the other customers are ouside. Here it's just me and the staff. It being quiet, they're in a relaxed mood and having fun. As they evening shift arrives, they banter with the staff already on duty.
"We've 300 reservations for tonight, haven't we?"
"No. Only 284."
A third waiter says "All upstairs." He must be the downstairs waiter.
The barrel is smaller than when I've been here in the evening. Then it looks hogshead-sized, something like 200 litres. This one looks more like a firkin. The beer is soft, süffig and beautifully carbonated. It looks great in the glass. The way it tumbles and swirls from the tap reminds me of Ally Pally. And how Dunkirk Pale Ale looked as it was served by gravity. How can you get such a good head on beer served such a simple way.
While I'm hoovering up my beer the barrel finishses and a new one is rolled in. The theatre is another great thing about Bayerischer Anstich. The cermonial bringing in and lifting of the barrel. Then the ring of the tap as it's hammered home. It brings a tear to my eye and a lump to my wallet. Throat. That's what I mean. I'm always confusing wallet and throat. Or is it trousers?
I keep singing "Kinder an der Macht" to myself. They played it in Kachelofen in Pottenstein the other night. It literally brought tears to my eye. "Die Welt gehört in Kinderhände." Can't argue with that. Just let me dry my eyes a bit. Must have got some dust in them.
Next I head over towards the Hofbräuhaus. I'm not going in the Hofbräuhaus. I'd rather stick needles in my eyes. Or pull off my fingernails with pliers. I'm going somewhere much nicer. Where I'll get the only view of the Hofbräuhaus I like: from the outside. The terrace of Ayingers Speis und Trank is the perfect spot for that.
I order, just for a change, a Dunkles. It smells very milky. Like baby sick, but without the acidity. It doesn't taste like they sell very much. It's OK, apart from a slight acidity.
A large family of Spanish speakers are sitting opposite. I'd take a photo, but the father looks like a Columbian drugs baron. He might not take too kindly to being snapped. I quite like my lungs where they are inside my ribcage. Cute teenage daughter, too. Which is why I'm looking anywhere but her direction. I'd like to keep my dangly bits attached to my body.
My afternoon crawl ends in Nürnberger Bratwurstglöckl. Tongue-twister of a name, but a lovely little pub. I had to come back. Twelve months ago I drank one of the year's most satisfying and enjoyable beers here. An unpretentious Augustiner Helles that hit the spot so hard it spent three months recovering in hospital. Mmm . . . Bayerischer Anstich. Not quite as orgasmic as last year. Still a lovely drop. Subtle without being bland. Best have a second to make sure it wasn't a one-off.
Time now for a quick lie down to recharge my batteries for the evening session. And to think about exactly which pubs I feel like hitting.
Weisses Bräuhaus
Tal 7,
80331 München.
Tel. 089 - 299 875
Fax: 089 - 290 13815
http://www.weisses-brauhaus.de/
Der Pschorr
Viktualienmarkt 15,
80331 München.
Tel. +49 (0)89 / 5 18 18 500
Fax: +49 (0)89 / 5 18 18 545
Email: info@der-pschorr.de
http://www.derpschorr.de
Ayingers Speis und Trank
Am Platzl 1A,
80331 München.
Tel. 089 - 23 703 666
Fax: 089 - 23 703 800
http://www.platzl.de/gastronomie/wirtshaus-ayingers/wirtshaus-ayingers.html
Nürnberger Bratwurstglöckl
Frauenplatz 9,
80331 München (Munich).
Tel. 089 - 220385
Fax: 089 - 2904736
Email: info@bratwurst-gloeckl.de
http://www.bratwurst-gloeckl.de/
Saturday, 14 July 2012
Breakfast
I love a proper fried breakfast. Did myself one this morning. No chips.Not like at eggbaconchipsandbeans
More Salzburg

Being Saturday morning Salzburg is buzzing. There's an impressive food market going on. I'd buy some of the delicious-looking meat and bread, except it would be rotten before I got it home. When I get too frustrated by vain drooling to continue, I drop in the handily-placed Zipfer Bierhaus. A stop I planned making. Let me explain why.
There aren't that many proper pubs in the old centre of Salzburg. Zipfer Bierhaus is most definitely a proper pub. When I wander through the door at 10:30, there are already quite a few customers. All sensibly drinking beer. Mostly blokes around my age. I open my paper and wait for the waiter. I'm fitting right in.
The beer selection has expanded since my last visit. Amongst the newcomers is Gösser Dunkles Zwicklbier. How can I resist something both dark and unfiltered? When it arrives, it doesn't look that dark. Amber more than brown. Butter, caramel, sherbert and yeast, I can detect. Not necessarily in that order. Bit bland, but a nice undemanding companion to my paper. I read about serious flooding overnight. I'm not surprised, the way it was chucking it down.
I'm forgetting to give you my reasons for liking Zipfer, other than it being a proper pub. The main one is that, with it's vaulted ceiling and chunky wooden furniture, it reminds me of a Czech pub. The food reinforces that impression. On top of that, despite being plum in tourist central, the customers all look like locals. They're all speaking Austriany German. And I'm the only one wearing shorts.
I'm thinking about what to get for my second beer, when a woman around 60 comes in and sits in the corner. She gets herself a half litre of something very pale. Then does something that truly shocks me. Something that looks so, so wrong. She lights a fag. Fuck me, there's no smoking ban in Austria. I'm so used to smoke-free pubs I'm shocked, appalled and oddly fascinated by the woman and her fag. Funny how quickly you get used to smoking being banished outside. I've forgotten there are still places where it's allowed.
Even odder is that I've been in the pub for more than half an hour and no-one else has lit up. Despite the customers being the older, working-class sort of chavs you'd expect to smoke.
I've made my decision. About that second beer. Think I'll have a Bernstein. I'm not surpised when the beer is golden, just a touch darker than Pils colour. I've sussed their distorted colour-sense. Even blander than the last beer. Not really much in the way of flavour at all.
To make up for missing breakfast here, I'm having lunch at Sternbräu. Because of the weather, not a soul is inside. All the action is in the garden. I take a seat in the cloister that surrounds it. No chance of the sun reaching me here.
Despite being barely noon, it's filling up quickly. Thankfully plenty of dirndled waitresses are scurrying around and soon I'm staring at a glass of Stern Bier. Lovely logo. The beer itself is on the fizzy side. And nowt special, to be honest.
An Asian family sit at the next table. Parents and twenty-something daughter. They seem to be struggling with the menu. The English-language version. When their food arrives, I suspect they might not have completely undersood it. Two bowls of soup, one sausage, a salad and a giant merangue-like desert are placed in front of them. Not a combination I've seen before. The father is so impressed with the desert, he starts to sketch it with a pen. The daughter is so impressed by her father's sketching, she starts videoing. To complete the circle, the mother then photographs the daughter filming the father.
Susprisingly, I am still awake. I thought it was in one of my weird dreams for a minute. The ones where my house mystically acquires extra staircases and acres of extra rooms. I can't help wondering how the Salzburg experience is for the Asian family. Is it as surreal as it looks?
Sternbräu being at the Mülln side of town, it seems crazy not to drop by Augustiner again. This time I use the back entrance, which avoids a good deal of climbing. Though my body feels in much less danger of a thrombie today. Despite the continuing heat.
The garden is even fuller today. With the same eclectic mix of nationalities and ages. I'm soon back in the groove with cooling Märzen and meaty snacks. While picking up some of the latter, I spot something that slipped my attention yesterday: little bottles of Obstler. Now, I don't want you to get the idea that I'm a total pisshead. But I immediately grab a couple of the little bastards. They're only 5 cl. Waste of time just getting the one.
Something else I missed yesterday. The signs saying: no making music or being noisy. While there's no music going on, there is plenty of noise. Not loud noise, just the background buzz of a large number of people in a relatively small space. A gentle grumple, with the odd cling or clang.
Picking up a beer at the counter, I notice the gazebo-like structure next to it seems to house a private party. The jammy bastards have their own wooden barrel, from which they serve themselves. How cool is that? I'm dead jealous.
Though I'd like to stay in Augustiner for, well, the rest of my life, I don't. There's one more thing I need to do while in town. Drink some Stiegl. Not had any yet. Hotel Stieglbräu is vaguely on the way back to my hotel. That's where I'll do my Stiegl drinking.
Stieglbräu is a hotel/beerhall/beer garden out towards the station. It's pleasant enough inside, if a bit too new to be really cosy. The garden is nice. For weirdoes like me. Not the quietest, but it has a great view of a railway viaduct. You can watch the trains thunder by as you sip. Dead handy for the frustrated trainspotter turned beer ticker.

There's a giant flowerpot with a tree in it close to my table. It reminds of the Flowerpot Men. One of the greatest influences on my writing style. Flobbelob. I wonder what happened to Bill and Ben? Are they happily retired in Bognor or slaving in sleazy clubs, eking out a living exploiting past glories? I heard about Little Weed's seedy "glamour" photo shoots and drug problems. No wonder she was so thin.
Tonight there's no rain. Märzen and obstler rock me to sleep.
Zipfer Bierhaus
Sigmund Haffnergasse 12,
5020 Salzburg.
Tel. 0662-843101
http://www.zipfer-bierhaus.at/
Sternbräu
Griesgasse 23,
5020 Salzburg.
Tel. 0662-4477261
Email: info@sternbraeu.at
Homepage: http://www.sternbraeu.at/
Hotel Stieglbräu
Rainerstraße 14,
5020 Salzburg.
Tel. 0662-77692
Email: info@imlauer.com
Homepage: http://www.imlauer.com/
Friday, 13 July 2012
Salzburg
The castle hovers majestically over the town as I get a glimpse of the city when the train rattles across the river. Time to stand up and collect my bags. I've been reminded just how scenic Salzburg is. As if I needed to be.
I'm staying in Schallmoos, which is literally the wrong wide of the tracks. To avoid a long road detour, I clamber over a rickety temporary wooden bridge. The station is a complete mess, halfway through being rebuilt. I'm sure it'll be very nice when completed. But it's a real pain in the bum at the moment.
There's one advantage to staying in Schallmoos. Die Weisse is a short stroll away. Just as well because it's mega humid as well as mega-hot. The steel band around my chest tightens during the walk. Thankfully there's a spot in the shade in the beer garden with my name on it.
Once the pounding in my temples has receded to a steady techno beat, I notice something. There have been big changes since my last visit. The structure in the garden, for a start. It used to be, well, a shed. Much posher than that now. Trendy even. The stylish menu betrays the hand a graphic design team. My god. They've gone all modern. That's a change. Used to be comfortably old-fashioned.
It's not just the style of the menu. What's on it is different, too. Lots of new beers. They used to only really do one, a Hefeweizen. With a Weizenbock in the winter. Now there's a whole range. They aren't even all wheat beers. Max, and unfiltered Märzen catches my attention. When a waiter appears, I order one. It's so cloudy, it looks like a Witbier.
I'm not going to give you a long, detailed description of its flavour. I'm justy going to drink the thing because it's bloody boiling and I'm sweating cobs. Come back when I don't feel I'm about to collapse in a thrombied heap.
Oh, oh, look what they've got on the menu. Bread dumplings. The Czech style ones with cubes of fried bread in them. Knedliky. I've got to get me some of those. A small gulash should provide plenty of gravy to soak them in. Not exactly hot-weather food. But what I want to eat. I'm on holiday. I'll do what the hell I want.
My fellow customers all look local. There's a young couple stuffing themselves with porky delights. A family with small kids cooling themselves with cola and ice cream. A group of fifty-something blokes playing cards, while absent-mindedly sipping beer.
Did I mention how humid it is? It's unbearbly humid. It reminds me of two years ago in Philadelphia. When the weather was so unpleasant we spent a day huddled in front of the air-conditioning unit in our hotel room. It's almost as horrible as that.
But there's more walking to do. Because there's one thing you 100% certain have to do when in Salzburg: go to Augustiner. It's one of my top ten favourite places in the world. For a whole bundle of reasons.
The walk there is as little fun as I'd expected. I try to dodge the laser beams of the sun as much as possible. But there's no escaping them on the bridge. The river is even scarier than the Danube in Regensburg. It swirls furiously around the pillars, a watery twister, churning constantly. Chunky chunks of tree speed along, tugged by the invisible hand of the current. I wouldn't want to drop in that bastard. I unconsciously edge back from the bridge's edge.
The hill up from the river almost takes me from feeling like I'm dying to wanting to. I maintain the will to live, by focusing on those I love. Those cute little grey steins full of Märzen. The thought of seeing them again gets me up that hill.
Inside it's deserted, save for those manning the food stalls. Everyone's outside in the garden. Despite only being open 15 minutes, a good percentage of the tables are taken. I have to sit towards the back.
You've two options at Augustiner. You can order from a waiter and pay 3.60 euros for a half litre. Or you can fetch yourself for three. I don't believe in throwing my dosh away for nothing. I fetch my own beer. Which also involves a lovely bit of theatre. You pay at a cash desk for a chit, choose your own stein then give it to the chav serving. He fills it up from a wooden barrel then glides it, cowboy bar style, across the counter to you. Magic. I'd pay an extra 60 cents for that experience.
The whole garden is a form of open-air performance art. I'll return to that in a moment.
The beer. I bet you want to hear about that. It's cool, perfumed and suicidal. Just what I was after. It slips down as quickly as my trousers when I forget to fasten my belt.
Back to the performance art. A middle-aged man sits at the next table surrounded by tupaware boxes. He begins methodically preparing long, red radishes. Trimming, cutting and salting. He works steadily away for 20 minutes. Only when he's finished does he get himself a beer and start eating his radishes. His mates straggle up, similarly supplied with boxes and bags of nosh. Looks like they're settled in for the duration.
On the table next to Mr. Radish, a couple just under retirement age sits. She's wearing a dirndly type dress, which is cool. Once seated, she begins emptying the whicker basket of food she's brought along. While her husband fetches beer. Two litres. I'm impressed. I love to see women drinking litres. Especially when wearing a dirndl. That's why the Oktoberfest is so great.
The woman, too, prepares radishes. She has bigger ones than Mr. Radish, using something like a giant pencil sharperner to create strings of radish shavings. Despite eating, the couple maintains a blistering drinking pace. They demolish three litres each in the time it takes me to struggle through three halves. I'm really impressed.
Slightly further away is a young couple. They're much more modern. Each speaks into or fiddles with their phone, as if the other weren't there. They only break off from their ticky-tacking to drink their beer. At least they both have litres. More sips are taken than words exchanged.
I could sit here all day and observe. With all ages, classes and nationalities mixed up, there's plenty to entertain. On another table are two middle-aged English couples. they all start on half litres. But after the first round the men upgrade to litres. How typically English. Unlike the locals, they haven't brought their own food, and buy an endless stream of sausagey snacks.
Despite the regularity with which the barrels are changed, there's not a sign of drunkenness. Nor even intoxication. Though I've seen a few people down several litres.
.
Mature trees form a thick green shield, deflecting the sun's stinging arrows. The beer and the breeze work their cooling magic. After the third beer all the throbbing in my head is gone and the band around my chest has snapped. It's wonderful to breathe freely again. Eventually I can even face the long walk back.
Back in my hotel, watching the footie in the company of a posh Schlehengeist I bought in Regensburg, it pisses it down. Really pisses it down. The nearby hills disappear in the murk. Rain is still dancing on the balcony when I fall asleep, lulled by the white noise melody of the downpour.
Mike's take on Salzburg
Salzburg, I expected, would be one of the high points of the trip after hearing many times how wonderful the Augustinerkeller was. And, in a word, it was.
I've been to quite a few bierkellers, but Augustiner really is in a class by itself. First of all, it is part of a monastery. There is a building, called the Bräustübl, that houses no less than seven beer halls open during inclement weather and leads into the garden that is open during acceptable weather. The building, upon entering, could easily be mistaken for a church.
As the weather was lovely, we sat in the garden. Covered with trees, chairs and tables, it's up a slight grade so the view includes much of the city below. The building offers a vast number of small, built-in food counters. There is little duplication in the offerings. In a number of ways, it feels like a catered picnic.
The beer is quite delicious and drinking several liters of it should not be a problem for anyone - such as the grandma who sat with her family at a table next to ours.
The beer, btw, is served bayerischer anstich (by gravity from a large wooden barrel) - the way God intended.
There are other places in Salzburg to drink good beer, but with competition like Augustiner, God help them.
Die Weisse
Rupertgasse 10,
5020 Salzburg.
Tel. 0662-8722 460
Fax 0662-8722 464
Email: prost@dieweisse.at
http://www.dieweisse.at/
Augustinerbräu
Augustinergasse 4,
5020 Salzburg..
Tel. 0662-31246
Email: info@augustinerbier.at
http://www.augustinerbier.at/
I'm staying in Schallmoos, which is literally the wrong wide of the tracks. To avoid a long road detour, I clamber over a rickety temporary wooden bridge. The station is a complete mess, halfway through being rebuilt. I'm sure it'll be very nice when completed. But it's a real pain in the bum at the moment.
There's one advantage to staying in Schallmoos. Die Weisse is a short stroll away. Just as well because it's mega humid as well as mega-hot. The steel band around my chest tightens during the walk. Thankfully there's a spot in the shade in the beer garden with my name on it.
Once the pounding in my temples has receded to a steady techno beat, I notice something. There have been big changes since my last visit. The structure in the garden, for a start. It used to be, well, a shed. Much posher than that now. Trendy even. The stylish menu betrays the hand a graphic design team. My god. They've gone all modern. That's a change. Used to be comfortably old-fashioned.
It's not just the style of the menu. What's on it is different, too. Lots of new beers. They used to only really do one, a Hefeweizen. With a Weizenbock in the winter. Now there's a whole range. They aren't even all wheat beers. Max, and unfiltered Märzen catches my attention. When a waiter appears, I order one. It's so cloudy, it looks like a Witbier.
I'm not going to give you a long, detailed description of its flavour. I'm justy going to drink the thing because it's bloody boiling and I'm sweating cobs. Come back when I don't feel I'm about to collapse in a thrombied heap.
Oh, oh, look what they've got on the menu. Bread dumplings. The Czech style ones with cubes of fried bread in them. Knedliky. I've got to get me some of those. A small gulash should provide plenty of gravy to soak them in. Not exactly hot-weather food. But what I want to eat. I'm on holiday. I'll do what the hell I want.
My fellow customers all look local. There's a young couple stuffing themselves with porky delights. A family with small kids cooling themselves with cola and ice cream. A group of fifty-something blokes playing cards, while absent-mindedly sipping beer.
Did I mention how humid it is? It's unbearbly humid. It reminds me of two years ago in Philadelphia. When the weather was so unpleasant we spent a day huddled in front of the air-conditioning unit in our hotel room. It's almost as horrible as that.
But there's more walking to do. Because there's one thing you 100% certain have to do when in Salzburg: go to Augustiner. It's one of my top ten favourite places in the world. For a whole bundle of reasons.
The walk there is as little fun as I'd expected. I try to dodge the laser beams of the sun as much as possible. But there's no escaping them on the bridge. The river is even scarier than the Danube in Regensburg. It swirls furiously around the pillars, a watery twister, churning constantly. Chunky chunks of tree speed along, tugged by the invisible hand of the current. I wouldn't want to drop in that bastard. I unconsciously edge back from the bridge's edge.
The hill up from the river almost takes me from feeling like I'm dying to wanting to. I maintain the will to live, by focusing on those I love. Those cute little grey steins full of Märzen. The thought of seeing them again gets me up that hill.
Inside it's deserted, save for those manning the food stalls. Everyone's outside in the garden. Despite only being open 15 minutes, a good percentage of the tables are taken. I have to sit towards the back.
You've two options at Augustiner. You can order from a waiter and pay 3.60 euros for a half litre. Or you can fetch yourself for three. I don't believe in throwing my dosh away for nothing. I fetch my own beer. Which also involves a lovely bit of theatre. You pay at a cash desk for a chit, choose your own stein then give it to the chav serving. He fills it up from a wooden barrel then glides it, cowboy bar style, across the counter to you. Magic. I'd pay an extra 60 cents for that experience.
The whole garden is a form of open-air performance art. I'll return to that in a moment.
The beer. I bet you want to hear about that. It's cool, perfumed and suicidal. Just what I was after. It slips down as quickly as my trousers when I forget to fasten my belt.
Back to the performance art. A middle-aged man sits at the next table surrounded by tupaware boxes. He begins methodically preparing long, red radishes. Trimming, cutting and salting. He works steadily away for 20 minutes. Only when he's finished does he get himself a beer and start eating his radishes. His mates straggle up, similarly supplied with boxes and bags of nosh. Looks like they're settled in for the duration.
On the table next to Mr. Radish, a couple just under retirement age sits. She's wearing a dirndly type dress, which is cool. Once seated, she begins emptying the whicker basket of food she's brought along. While her husband fetches beer. Two litres. I'm impressed. I love to see women drinking litres. Especially when wearing a dirndl. That's why the Oktoberfest is so great.
The woman, too, prepares radishes. She has bigger ones than Mr. Radish, using something like a giant pencil sharperner to create strings of radish shavings. Despite eating, the couple maintains a blistering drinking pace. They demolish three litres each in the time it takes me to struggle through three halves. I'm really impressed.
Slightly further away is a young couple. They're much more modern. Each speaks into or fiddles with their phone, as if the other weren't there. They only break off from their ticky-tacking to drink their beer. At least they both have litres. More sips are taken than words exchanged.
I could sit here all day and observe. With all ages, classes and nationalities mixed up, there's plenty to entertain. On another table are two middle-aged English couples. they all start on half litres. But after the first round the men upgrade to litres. How typically English. Unlike the locals, they haven't brought their own food, and buy an endless stream of sausagey snacks.
Despite the regularity with which the barrels are changed, there's not a sign of drunkenness. Nor even intoxication. Though I've seen a few people down several litres.
.
Mature trees form a thick green shield, deflecting the sun's stinging arrows. The beer and the breeze work their cooling magic. After the third beer all the throbbing in my head is gone and the band around my chest has snapped. It's wonderful to breathe freely again. Eventually I can even face the long walk back.
Back in my hotel, watching the footie in the company of a posh Schlehengeist I bought in Regensburg, it pisses it down. Really pisses it down. The nearby hills disappear in the murk. Rain is still dancing on the balcony when I fall asleep, lulled by the white noise melody of the downpour.
Mike's take on Salzburg
Salzburg, I expected, would be one of the high points of the trip after hearing many times how wonderful the Augustinerkeller was. And, in a word, it was.
I've been to quite a few bierkellers, but Augustiner really is in a class by itself. First of all, it is part of a monastery. There is a building, called the Bräustübl, that houses no less than seven beer halls open during inclement weather and leads into the garden that is open during acceptable weather. The building, upon entering, could easily be mistaken for a church.
As the weather was lovely, we sat in the garden. Covered with trees, chairs and tables, it's up a slight grade so the view includes much of the city below. The building offers a vast number of small, built-in food counters. There is little duplication in the offerings. In a number of ways, it feels like a catered picnic.
The beer is quite delicious and drinking several liters of it should not be a problem for anyone - such as the grandma who sat with her family at a table next to ours.
The beer, btw, is served bayerischer anstich (by gravity from a large wooden barrel) - the way God intended.
There are other places in Salzburg to drink good beer, but with competition like Augustiner, God help them.
Die Weisse
Rupertgasse 10,
5020 Salzburg.
Tel. 0662-8722 460
Fax 0662-8722 464
Email: prost@dieweisse.at
http://www.dieweisse.at/
Augustinerbräu
Augustinergasse 4,
5020 Salzburg..
Tel. 0662-31246
Email: info@augustinerbier.at
http://www.augustinerbier.at/
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