Beach!

I'm off to the beach today. The bus is scheduled to leave at 8 AM. I awake and notice that it's already light. Looking at my watch, it says 9:45 AM. I start to panic. Then realise that the real time is 4 hours earlier. It's really 5:45. I've still time for some more sleep.

A breakfast of scrambled egg, cheese, juice and coffee.

I get downstairs at 7:30 AM. There are a few other judges there. But only a few. I have the standard egg, cheese and fruit. Plus coffee. I need caffeine.

When 8 o’clock rolls around, it's obvious the buses won't be leaving on time. It's closer to 9 AM by the time we pull off. No singing this time.

Bahia countryside.

While we're on the way, it's decided that we'll go to an all-inclusive resort and get day passes. Which cost 450 reals each. How many caipirinhas do I have to drink to get my money’s worth?

It's quite a long and complicated route from reception to the beach. Which looks idyllic. Palm trees lean lazily towards the onrushing ocean. A smiling sun beams down from the azure sky. Brazil has so many stunningly beautiful beaches.

Sadly, almost all the loungers are taken. We head to a pool instead. One with a bar. There’s a surprise.

Resort pool bar.

I grab a lounger next to the pool and grease myself up. Don't want my pasty English skin to burn. What to drink? It's so difficult to choose. I know, I'll have a caipirinha. A passion fruit one for a change. It's rather nice and not too acidic. Important, given how many of them I intend drinking. I wouldn’t want to fuck my stomach. Especially not before my pass expires.

While the others splash around in the pool, I sit in the shade and sip. Or rather gulp. I want to make sure I get the full value out of my day pass.

A passion fruit caipirinha.

The others try to tempt me into the water. No fucking chance. I'm happy where I am. In the shade with a rather nice drink in my hand. I don’t want to be getting wet. And I don’t have a swimming costume with me, anyway. I couldn’t have brought one. I don’t own one.

This is dead relaxing. It’s great to have a day doing fuck all. Just lazing around and letting my mind go blank. And blanking it even more with cocktails. Lots of cocktails.

A few drinks in, it's time for food. In the form of barbecued prawn. In a deep-fried roll made from beans. It’s quite a crunchy sandwich, as the prawns come complete with shells. No heads, thankfully. That would be a crunch too far.

A crunchy prawn sandwich.

The caipirinhas keep slipping down. As the other judges get increasingly raucous in the pool. This is fun. As long as I can keep the sun off my skin.

I should eat some more food. So, I drop by the Mexican restaurant and grab a couple of sandwiches. Just to soak up the caipirinhas.

After ten caipirinhas, I feel like a change. And order a gin and tonic. The barman almost pours it like I do (two parts gin o one of tonic.). There are about equal amounts of gin and tonic. Tanqueray gin, not any old crap.

Resort beach.

The judges move over to a deeper pool. Where two musicians are playing Brazilian music. And one of our group is dancing. In a dead impressive way. Then Walter Proetzel, a Peruvian judge, and his wife get up and dance in a very stylish way.

At 5 PM I go to the Mexican restaurant with Jan and Joe to have some more food before our passes expire at 6 PM. More sandwiches and some salad for me. I’m so healthy. Apart from being full of cocktails.

Resort deeper  pool.

When it’s time to leave, finding reception and the exit is a bit of a challenge. This place is huge. Large numbers of cocktails aren’t helping my navigational skills. I blunder around for a while before striking lucky.

Some of the judges are showing the signs of a long day on the booze. One has to be carried to the bus. Where she slumps, unconscious.

It's a fairly quiet journey. Though there is some singing. Unlike the other bus, we don't stop several times to buy more beer. For once, I’m glad I’m with the sensible people.

Back at the hotel we bump into the other lot of judges. The ones who went to the cigar factory. They’re much more sober than those who went to the beach. Which isn’t a difficult task.

I pass on the evening meal, having already eaten enough at the resort. I retreat to my room to watch some YouTube and sip a little cachaca. It's been a fun, but long, day.

It’s only around 11 PM when I turn in with my friend cachaca.



Iberostar Selection Praia do Forte
BA-099, Km 57
Açu da Torre,
Mata de São João
BA, 48280-000.
https://www.iberostar.com/en/hotels/praia-do-forte/iberostar-praia-do-forte



Disclaimer: my flights, hotels and most meals were paid for by the Brazilian International Beer Awards.