It's that time of year again

What I like to call Drinkalongathon season. So it's time to get your eggs and string at the ready for the big day next week.

Am I going to do this for yet another year? Sure as hell I am. As long as there's string to be cut and eggs to be boiled.

Here's what you'll need to participate in Drinkalongathon 2023:

1 bottle Islay whisky (as expensive as you can afford)
7 pieces of string
4 hard-boiled eggs
3 soft-boiled egos
1 rubber egg (realistic)
2 bottles fino sherry
1 bottle scummo sherry
2 more pieces of string
4 slices of bacon
3 vegan sausage rolls
2 chains
0.5 back
3 quarters (wings)
100 weights
500 feet (a whole sheet)
3 yards (or gardens)
7 lengths of string
1 apple
2 bottles of port (one street, one dinner table)
3 bottles of fairly decent wine* (one white, one red, one red and white mixed (or rosé if you're being a  posh git))
24 cans of Whitbread Gold Label** (for the lucky bastards who can buy it still)
4 cans of baked beans (2 Imperial pints), own brand only
2 Imperial pint glasses (preferably nonic or tulip, oversized)
1 crate St. Bernardus Abt (the Christmas version is an acceptable substitute, for jammy twats lucky enough to find it)
17 shorts of string
1 duck
2 dives
1 comically large pencil, not necessarily sharp
1 rubber duck (yes, the last one was a real fucking duck)
Stuffing of your own choice*** (For the real duck, obviously, not the rubber one. Unless you really are dead thick and were confused by the order of the items.)
1 bottle of rum (with at least 3 years of ageing in wood.) (Or cachaca.)
7 bottles of beer from the Lidl Oktoberfest package****
1 coffee, surreptitiously laced with an octuple measure of cheap whisky/any other spirit hanging around unattended
2 mince pies (for decorative purposes only)
2 limes
6 lines (of chalk)
3 times
4 pines (cones)
13 (at least) of my books
2 rolls (soft)
3 rocks (hard)
1 satsuma (or other easily-peeled orange citrus fruit)

That's all I can think of for the moment. I may recall other essential items later. As a pensioner, I'm just glad I can remember both of my names when I get up in the morning: Reginald Peterson.

* Costing less than 3 euros a pop. Preferably less than 2. And litre size.

** I'll happily trade the recipe for a case or two of 1950s Tennant's Gold Label.

*** I'm no stuffing Nazi.

**** Coincidentally, exactly how many bottles I have left.