Saturday, 23 December 2017
Except for one thing. I've introduced one huge change for this year. You won't need two pieces of string. You'll need four.
Before you start thinking: "That'll be easy, I'll cut my pieces of string in half." I'll tell that won't work. You'll need two totally new piece of string. If you've foolishl;y misplaced last year's string, then you'll need four totally new pieces. Getting two pieces of string and cutting them in half won't work. You'll need whole not half pieces of string.
Nothing has changed on the egg front. You still need two of those, one hard the other soft boiled. And obviously a crate of Abt, a full litre of Islay whisky (of your choice, but I would recommend Lagavullin. even if I can't afford it myself).
You can leave out the absinthe, but you'll need to bump up the overproof rum proportionately. No valium this year. We'll need Fentonyl. No Heineken. The kids can buy their own beer this year.
There's some other stuff, too. But I can't be arsed to list it all again.
See you on Monday at 8 AM (Amsterdam time). That's when I'll be having my eye-opener. Followed by an eye-half-closer.