Things I hate

I was going to write about Things I Love. But I need more than a single paragraph. A slight change of viewpoint and suddenly I have more material than I know what to do with.

I hate:

- calling German beers "Ales"
- writing Barley Wine as Barleywine
- Cascade hops
- mustard
- Porter or Stout drenched with citrus hops
- work
- mosquitoes
- nitro-served beer
- ice-cold beer
- sunshine
- the term "Dry Stout"
- double anything, apart from Bock
- Imperial anything, apart from Mild
- hot weather
- cars
- the Dutch football team
- books written without research
- beards
- homebrewers with beards
- Hollyoaks
- cats
- pigeons
- the rubbish Dutch postal service
- Arsenal
- all London football teams
- fake Irish pubs
- smoking
- queue jumpers
- dogma
- dogmatic twats
- certainty
- uncertainty
- pullovers
- T-shirts with jokey slogans
- designer clothes
- jeans
- trainers
- owners who don't control their dogs
- fizzy beer
- all politicians except Stalin and Trotsky
- slugs
- cats
- waking up having a coughing fit
- pubs that don't look like pubs
- Frankfurt
- formula 1
- tennis
- basketball
- sugar
- Gert Wilders
- Leo van den Berge
- closing time
- CO2
- the word "proactive"
- anyone who uses the word "proactive" seriously
- cats
- mission statements
- bullies
- Andrea Rijntjes
- Steve Vaswani
- German pubs that serve Klösse from a packet
- "innovative" beers
- gravity
- cross-channel ferries
- guns
- knives
- spoons
- motorways
- internet forums
- beer names of more than 3 words
- bearded wikipedia contributors
- chocolate
- pneumonia
- decimal currency
- pudding (except for steak and kidney)
- Golden Ales
- Blonde Abbey beers
- paprika-flavoured crisps
- frozen chips
- instant mash
- football teams based at the Emirates Stadium
- stadiums named after a sponsor
- the terms "inside right" and "outside half" falling into disuse
- pints that are half litres
- people who don't mind being served a half litre when they asked for a pint
- novelty underwear
- Amstelveen
- variegated foliage
- sandals
- alcohol-free beer
- personalised number plates
- cats
- ice cream
- Monday
- blaming everything on global warming
- global cooling
- Wednesday
- live test match coverage being only on Sky
- the All Blacks
- Thursday
- kitchens at the front of houses
- painting everything orange
- Tuesday
- August
- December
- mornings
- chips with mayonaisse
- tomato ketchup
- avocado
- not being rich enough to give up work
- the rich
- ivy
- plastic-framed windows
- Windows
- aluminium-framed windows
- plastic door handles
- drivers that won't stop at zebra crossings
- "classic" rock
- breaking my ankle
- breaking my other ankle
- losing an argument
- being wrong
- hamburgers
- treading in dogshit
- bauxite
- DIY
- TNT
- ABC
- TB
- anthropomorphism
- 24-hour days
- Robust Porter
- smug bastards
- the phrase "the golden age of beer"
- airport security
- winter sport
- extreme sport
- ironing
- thin chips
- buttermilk

There will be several more, rather longer installments in this Hate series.