Monday 6 April 2009

Following guidelines

On reflection, and after a couple of beers, I realised this post was a pile of crap. Repetitive, unimaginative and an insult to everyone's intelligence, including mine.

Instead, I'm giving you a sneak preview of our next film. The first title was "They flew to Bruges". But that was too derivative. It's now called "Vive la résistance". Lexie made a sten gun yesterday. We're just about ready to go. All we need is a script.

Usually Lexie does the writing. It's my turn now. I didn't realise how hard it was. This is what I've got so far:



Vive la Resistance!

The Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame etc with French accordion music in the background.
The caption "France 1940"

Hitler screams and waves his arms around then the Panzers roll forward to the sound of Blitzkrieg Bop


Scene 1

A small group of men huddle around a table, drinking wine.

Barclay Perkins, British secret agent, is speaking in a coarse whisper.

. . . . .



I suppose I need the odd bit of dialogue. That's just a detail. I've got an impressive-sounding name for the hero. What more do I need? Barclay Perkins is surely enough.

17 comments:

Jon said...

I understand the wrongheadedness of the "shouldn't this beer be exactly to guidelines?" mentality, but if there are specific reasons (which you just mentioned) why it's such a departure from what most think of doppelbock, I think the question is valid.

Ron Pattinson said...

Jon, I don't think Salvator is "wrong" for a Doppelbock. Just that they've turned it into a crap beer.

Stonch said...

But Ron you engage in these mindless discussions!

Ron Pattinson said...

Jeffrey, I just can't help myself sometimes.

Matt said...

I've only had Salvator once in a bottle, it was very sweet and unpleasant. I imagined it might be better on draught in Germany but maybe not.

Laurent Mousson said...

Ron I suspect above all that you missed using the "style nazis" tag on a post, and just had to, as a natural urge... ;o)

Style Yank? said...

So, in American microbreweries beer "must be brewed to a set of guidelines," while "German brewers look at their beers in a very different way"?

Isn't the opposite much closer to the truth? That German brewers tend to adhere (perhaps to a fault) to a common understanding of "how this beer is made," while many American microbrewers are obsessed (perhaps to a fault) with breaking such notions?

Ron Pattinson said...

Style Yank, I'll just refer to the Brewers' Associations 141 minutely-specified beer styles. That has no influence on American microbrewing? It seems to me that every time a brewer changes one element, a new style is born.

Go to Franconia and try a few Dunkles. And then tell me Germans are brewing to one general formula. Or see how broadly terms such as Märzen, Vollbier, Kellerbier or even Export are used.

And if this way thinking isn't quite common in the US, how come I keep coming across this sort of comment?

Pivní Filosof said...

I like the "style nazis" tag!

Why can't some people enjoy their beer based on what they have in their glass on not what it says on the label?

This is not meant to defend Salvator. I remember drinking it 9 years ago and thinking it was the most wonderful thing that had ever come out of a bottle, then, when I drank it again a few months ago, well, to put it mildly, it was indeed crap.

Kristen England said...

The way I see it is that the Germans/UK and such see styles as more of an abstract idea where the US and the Scandinavians that follow try hammer out exacting minute details so its easier to understand and separate beers. When in actuality one is actually the other and such and such.

Jon said...

The original poster didn't say Salvator was "wrong" but rather asked the questions: "Aren't beers of a particular style supposed to follow certain guidelines? Why is it so different?". He seems to leave himself open for correction and informing rather than being called sad. He didn't say "Salvator isn't a doppelbock! Beers must conform to these silly arbitrarily and unhistorically based standards or perish!"

Jon said...

As an American brewer I can say I do not strictly conform to any absolute standards. I research using the best sources I can find (including your guides) and then make choices about how traditional I want to be with a style. Yes I brewed my alt with Spalt and used Maris Otter as base malt for my mild, but I also have an IPA that doesn't even fit with the American IPA standards due to the hop addition schedule.
I might win any medals for that IPA as the judges have accepted these BJCP guidelines as dogma, but that's not what I'm interested in. I want certain flavors to come through in my beers and also to try to make something that people will drink and enjoy (which is a surprisingly broad category here).
I think you're confusing the persona created by Brewer's Association press releases and the "objective" standards of beer competitions with the reality of what we do here. If anything, we're playing it pretty fast and loose and trying a great deal of new things.

Ron Pattinson said...

Jon, some good points. What can I say? The WW I research was piling up. I bashed this one out as a reaction to something I'd just read. It includes some rather too sweeping generalisations anout North Amerciab brewing.

That sounds like an apology. No, it is an apology.

I should do better.

Jon said...

No apologies needed, just wanted to let you know that many of us can't stand the beer trolls and style nazis too!

jonbrazie said...

I didn't have the patience to read through all the comments, and may have missed something, but I'd like to actually see this film. Hopefully no more than 10 minutes in length. I'll fund the production...with beer.

John said...

British secret agent Barclay Perkins :)

Ron Pattinson said...

John, I had to continue my theme.