Beer and Porter - what are they made of?

Lying bastards. Anti-alcohol campaigners. A bunch of lying bastards prepared to tell any lie to scare the ignorant. It's a continuing theme for the last 150 years.

Nowadays it's doctors with an axe to grind or shit journalists in search of a sensational headline. Inconvenient facts are ignored and figures distorted to fit the author's point of view. Back in Victorian days they had whole publications full of the vilest calumny.

Some articles are full of such rubbish that they become works of comedy. Inadvertent satires you'd be hard pressed to better. Like the text below.

"BEER AND PORTER — WHAT ARE THEY MADE OF?

(From the Temperance Reciter.)

John.—Well, Fred., how do you get on? How do you and teetotalism agree? Not looking very pale— not got any thinner.

Fred.—Why, for the matter of that, John, I don't see how a teetotaler should be thinner or paler than other people,—except perhaps such folks as the fat, red-nosed topers, sometimes to be met with; but then you know such people never enjoy good health.

John.—You are quite right. It is impossible that such people can be healthy. How can any one be healthy when he is pouring poison down his throat day after day?

Fred.—Now you mention poison, it reminds me that you promised some time ago to tell me all about the qualities and composition of beer and other liquors.

John.—Well, just let us take beer. My father has a brewer's guide, which gives a full account of the way to make different kinds of beer, ale, and porter. I've studied that book a little.

Fred.—Then you must know something about it.

John.—Yes; there are London porter, London ale, Burton ale, Welsh ale, bitter ale, Scotch ale, and so on.

Fred.—I've heard that London porter is made of river-water. Is that true?

John.—Quite true. But the London breweries are not the only ones that use river-water. Most breweries are built by the side of a river, as river-water is considered best for brewing.

Fred.—Why so?

John.—Because there are certain materials mixed with the water that give substance and flavour to the article brewed, whether it be porter or beer.

Fred.—I want to know what the materials are?

John.—I can't describe them all, but I will some of them. You know our house is on one side of the river, and the Albion Brewery is on the other, so that I can see from our leads what goes on there.

Fred.—Yes, yes, exactly so—capital.

John.—Well, the engine pumps up a great quantity of water in a day into the tank or reservoir or the top of the building; from there it is drawn off to the boiler for brewing.

Fred.—But how about the materials? What is there beside water?

John.—I am going to tell you what I have seen In the first place, there are half-a-dozen drains or sewers all along the river-wall, and these empty their filth into the river at no great distance from the pump.

Fred.—Oh! what a treat! Shocking!

John.—In the second place, after the engine has been pumping for some hours, I notice a quantity of scum on the surface of the water just round the pump.

Fred.—What is the scum like?

John.—Why, filth—rotten straw, pieces of stick, dead dogs and cats, and even dead rats; and there are thousands of live rats in the holes besides.

Fred.—Why, surely some of that must be drawn up by the pump?

John.—No doubt about that, and I'll tell you all I know: every Monday morning two men go into the tank to clean it out, one with a broom and the other with a shovel.

Fred.—Oh beer! thy name is filth.

John.—So, after the one with the broom has swept up the mud and filth and bones into a corner, the other takes his shovel and throws it back into the river, where it stays till it is pumped up with some more of the same sort at the next pumping.

Fred.—Well, this is the sort of water people give threepence a pint for! Give me the pump where I can get it clean, and for nothing. Good bye, till we meet again.
"The Adviser. A monthly magazine for young people", 1853, pages 111 - 113.

The irony is that in the 1850's it was drinking water that was likely to be full of god knows what. While beer was brewed from pure well water.

Seems to me that if you have to resort to such blatant lies, you can't be very secure about your argument.

More more Ales

I almost forgot to tell you about the remaining Ales described in "A Cyclopaedia of Six Thousand Practical Receipts, and Collateral Information" by Arnold James Cooley, 1854 (pages 44 - 45).

ALE, WELSH. Take 3 quarters of the best pale malt and 25 lbs. of hops ; turn on the first liquor at 178°. Mash for an hour and a half, and stand two hours. Turn on second liquor at 190°, and stand two hours. Boil an hour and a half; pitch the tun at 62°, and cleanse at 80°, using salt and flour. After the second mash, turn on for table beer at 150°. Mash three quarters of an hour, and stand two hours.

Not much of note here. Except the 8 and a bit pounds of hops per quarter, for comparative purposes.

ALE, WHITE, (DEVONSHIRE.) Boil together 12 gallons of pale ale-wort, 1 handful of hops, and 4 or 5 lbs. of grouts; cool, and add of yeast 3 lbs When it is in a state of lively fermentation, bottle in strong stone half-pints ; well cork them down, and wire them. Remarks. This is much drunk in some parts of Devonshire. It effervesces when opened.

This is a bizarre local style that eventually died out towards the end of the 19th century. If I recall correctly, grouts was a prepared mixture of malt flour and water that had been left to start spontaneously fermenting. Zythophile has written in more detail of this strange, extinct beer.

ALE, WINDSOR. This ale is brewed from the best pale malt and hops. Turn on the first water at 180°; mash 1.25 hour, and stand 1 hour; boil 1 hour. Turn on the second liquor at 190°; stand 3/4 of an hour; boil 3 hours. Turn on the third liquor at 165°; mash 3/4 of an hour; stand 3/4 of an hour. Pitch the tun at 60°; cleanse at 80° on the third day. Skim as soon as a close yeasty head appears, until the yeast ceases to rise, then rouse in 4 lb. of hops per quarter.

This, again, I've included mainlt to demonstrate hopping levels. At 4 pounds per quarter, this is the same as specified for Scotch Ale.

ALE, YORKSHIRE OAT. The malt used is made from oats of the white sort, and dried with coke. Mash 1 quarter of ground malt with 44 gallons of cold soft water, and let it stand 12 hours; then draw off the wort, and infuse therein for 3 hours 2 lbs. of hops, well rubbed between the hands; next strain; tun it, and work it briskly with yeast for two or three days ; cleanse, and in ten days it will be fit to bottle. It drinks very smooth, brisk, and pleasant, but will not keep. It looks very much like white wine.

This is another odd one. It sounds as if the hops aren't being boiled, but just added to the wort and left top stand for a few hours. At only two pounds per quarter, there aren''t a great deal of hops, either. I can't imagine that the final beer could have been very bitter. There's no mention of barley malt, either. Can you mash with oats alone? Does it have the enzymes? Hang on a minute. There's no mention of mashing, either. Just standing the oat malt in cold water.