Ach Vader, Niet Meer

I spotted this book on the way to the supermarket this morning. I'm surprised the kids didn't get me it for Christmas.

I was tempted to buy it, but, you know, I'm a cheapskate. Seems like a fitting last post for 2009. Maybe it's a premonition.

Winners of last 2009 competition

Confusion about the rules of my own competition have made the Papazian Cup / Protz Shield rather broader than intended. But what the hell. Never before have I awarded so many prizes. (And probably never will again.)

There's a very special prize up for grabs: 1909! This pre-release version of my collaboration with Kristen will never be available for sale. And only 10 copies have been printed.

The standard of entries was very high. Hence the superfluity of prizes. Here are the winners:

Matt gets two prizes for these entries:

"I was more interested to know whether Protz's claims that Russian Imperial Stout was heavily hopped to "withstand the rigours of the long sea journey" and brewed with Pilsener malt that came back in empty barrels from the Baltic and - at "only 7%" abv - Sam Smith's version is 'not true to style' are correct."

and

"Porter began as a mixture of brown, stock and pale ales but disappeared by the end of the nineteenth century, although the weakest version became mild ale which when bottled is known as brown ale".

and

"Most modern bitters are too dark and too weak to be considered true members of the IPA or pale ale family."

Steve seemed to have an even flimsier grasp of the rules than me. But is still a deserving winner for this delightful piece of fantasy:

"Several people have asked the origins of stout and porter. Back in the 13th century, it was a Belgian ale called Stout Porter, being named after an old stout porter who worked at Waterloo. This beer, being the original, was 100% true to style - which is strange, as it was a completely clear liquid (this was due to the Belgian Purity laws which dictated that all brewing had to be totally transparent).
In the 14th century it was brought over to Britain, but the style immediately became less than 100% true due to small mammals being added to the mash to provide extra fizz and fermentation (English brewers had misheard the Belgians' accent as "stoat porter"). No matter, because Danish brewers in Northampton quickly went to court and stopped this ale being sold due to it being too like their own lager - almost colourless, fizzy and with a slight whiff of polecat wee. It wasn't until the 20th century that the beer took on the dark colouring we associate with it today. Brewers had started adding clinker to the mash, which gave it a smokey flavour. Coal Porter, as it was known, became a success. Inspired by this, more variants were invented: Nyree Dawn Porter, which came to the UK from New Zealand. Gail Porter, which had a great body and a smooth head. Stout Yeoman, made with freeze-dried mashed potato, and finally Alec Guinness - which looked quite weak, but had a force which was strong."

Rod also gets two prizes for these gems:

"Hodgson consciously invented a new style of beer, which he immediately christened India Pale Ale, in the knowledge that only this extra-high gravity, extra-high hopped ale would survive the passage to India and actually mature wonderfully, and with the intention that it would be diluted down upon arrival to render it true to traditional Pale Ale style."

and

"The Czechs invented pilsener beer in the town of Plzen in the late 19th century."

First Stater gets a book for this:

"Origin of barrel-aging?

While barrel-aging has been going on for a long time, as others have stated, I believe this was mostly for sour beers. This is less used to impart characteristics of the barrel, but more as a vessel to carry the bugs and bacteria that sour the beer."

And finally Oblivious wins for a lovely piece of BJCP flim-flammery:

"The term "IPA" is loosely applied in commercial English beers today, and has been (incorrectly) used in beers below 4% ABV."

Winners just need to contact me at the email address on my website and their prizes will be in the post in a jiffy.

My competition entry

"Arthur died in 1803. His success can be measured by the fact that he left a fortune of £23,000, made after a comparatively brief brewing career.

Arthur II and Benjamin took over the brewery, with Benjamin developing the export trade. In spite of his elevated position at the Bank of Ireland, Arthur II was not keen to pay too much beer duty to the British rulers. At the time, duty was paid on ingredients – malt and hops – not alcohol and Arthur hit upon a cunning plan: if he used a proportion of unmalted and therefore untaxed roasted barley, he could reduce his duty bill.

At a stroke, he improved the revenues of the brewery and, unintentionally, produced a new type of stout: darker and with a powerful character of burnt roasted grain. Purely as a tax dodge, Arthur II invented Dry Irish Stout, a style markedly different from the English versions of porter and stout."
"Black Magic" by Roger Protz.
http://www.tastingbeers.com/school/brewery_focus/12009364.html




See how many places you can find this tale repeated. Awesomely depressing.

Whitbread Porter and Stout grists (part 100)

Here's the last instalment on Whitbread Porter and Stout grists pre-WW I. I think you'll agree that I haven't been wasting my Christmas holidays.

Let's take a look, shall we?



These are some of the simplest Whitbread grists. You'll notice that a couple of the Porters contain no brown malt. That's quite unusual for a London brewery. Note, too, that no amber malt was used at all. And that the brown malt percentage had increased compared to the preceding couple of decades.

As I've said many, many times, Porter was in a state of constant flux, with both gravities and grists changing constantly.

Next: what happened in WW I and the rest of the 20th century.

Poll resuts - what a shock!

Time for me to remove those closed polls and get my web shops back to the top of all of the junk at the left of the screen. That was a natty opening sentence. Christmas cheer clearly hasn't affected my prose style.

Right, on with the results.

Question 1


One of the biggest surprises. That Hagenbach didn't get two votes. Wjhat were you thinking, Mike? Disappointingly few piss-ups in Australia and Wales.


Question 2

A load of pissheads. That's what you are. Don't you know anything about safe drinking?


Question 3

Shocked. That's what I am. I hope I never sit to you on a bus after one of your "accidents".

Question 4

I've had invalid beer. Invalid Stout, to be precise. Sadly it didn't make me gag, so I couldn't vote for it. Crap beer definitely seems unpopular with you lot. Now there's a surprise.

All that nonsense is finished for another year and I can return this blog to its true purpose: selling my crap products.

Whitbread Porter and Stout grists (part 99)

Not finished with Whitbread Porter by any means. Looking through Whitbread brewing logs is my special Christmas treat. I'm not joking.

Today we're at the start of the 19th century. About as far back as brewing records go. Let's take a look.


Some fascinating details there. Like how the brown malt content plummeted between 1811 and 1819. Whitbread were enthusiastic early adopters of the new black malt, though in pretty tiny amounts. I can't help wondering what colour those 1819 beers were, with almost 95% pale malt.

I was surprised to see the brown malt content rise again in the 1830's. I wonder why that was? Perhaps because the price of malt fell after the end of the Napoleonic Wars. You'll note that gravities also rose in the 1820's.

Back to Christmas fun now. I've still got the 20th century Whitbread logs to get my teeth into.

Whitbread Porter and Stout again

While I'm still in festive mood, time for more tables of Whitbread Porter and Stout grists.

This time we've moved back into the 19th century. The final two decades, to be precise. Let's take a look:


To refresh your memories, here's the table covering the following couple of decades:


There are some significant difference between n the two tables. For a start, there are fewer ingredients in the 19th century one. No amber malt, no oats and no sugar in the Porter. As you would expect the proportion of brown malt used fell in the 20th century and that of black and pale malt increased.

The gravities, on the other hand, remained much the same. You can't see it in this table, but boil times were also a bit longer in the 19th century. On average, around 15 minutes. You'll have to take my word for that. Unless you want yet another table.

I can get back to the celebrations now. Could possibly open up that Stone XIII. Though it would ruin my tastebuds for the rest of the day. Perhaps sticking to De Molen beers would make more sense.

2009 Christmas beer: a real-time tasting

It's not all been trawling through brewing records this Christmas. Beer has/is being drunk.

As a special treat for the holiday, and to take advantage of the web's possibilities, I'll be posting about what I drink real time. Exciting or what? You'll be able to see if I keep to Christmas drinking plan.


11:45 Beer Geek Breakfast
I've just popped a Mikkeler Beer Geek Breakfast (Speyside edition). I'm matching it with my usual breakfast: a handfull of pills. The roastiness squared of coffee plus roast malt holds up well to the plastic chemicaliness of the tablets.

The beer's OK. Much better than the last Beer Geek Breakfast I tried. Mike emptied most of his into Keizer's Gracht. I did finish my share, but through clenched teeth. This one's positively pleasant in comparison. A bit astringent/sour from all the dark malt, but nothing too annoying.

Just wondering if, as there's already some whisky in the beer, I need to have an Islay with it. Decisions, decisions.





12:30 Hoppin' Frog BORIS the Crusher I'd planned this for present-opening time. But that happened while I was still in dreamland. Watching Dolores slave away in the kitchen time is what the clock is showing currently.

I picked up this bottle when I was in the USA for work. $8.99 it cost me. Mmm. This is a real surprise. Good mouthfeel (from the oats, I guess) and lots of dark chocolate. Quite restrained compared to the Beer Geek Breakfast. The malt chocolatey sweetness and subdued roastiness combine with the clinky-clink noises from the kitchen into a gestalt of inordinate simplicity and elegance.

As this Stout lacks any intrinsic whiskiness, I've paired it with the Ileach. (The cheapest Islay whisky Ton Overmars sells, just 25.99 for 70 cl.) Yummericious, in a combining-drinks-too-early-in-the-day sort of way.




13:30 De Molen Rook en Vuur
I did not pay for this beer. I did not pay for this beer. That's the disclaimer out of the way. Another Stout, but one with a twist. Or two. (Twister - that's really Christmassy. When else does anyone play Twister?) Smoked, and chillied. That would usually be enough to have me running for the hills. But I trust Menno. And his beer. There's a very delicate lick of flame on the tongue, but not a roaring fire. The smoke is subdued too.

Fire and smoke fit perfectly with the rain that's slowly melting the snow away outside.

We'll be having our starter soon. Not salmon as I'd predicted, but portobello mushrooms with goats cheese, pine nuts and bacon. It looks very nice.

I did not pay for this beer. I did not pay for this beer. Just in case you missed the first disclaimer.




15:30 Dogfish Head 120 minute IPA
Bit slow there, wasn't I? The Rook en Vuur was a bit too one-person sized. You must be very disappointed.

After all those heavy Stouts, I've gone for something light and zingy. Should match the police car chase programme on the telly perfectly. Shit. Andrew's changed channels. Now it's a Hitler exploding the earth doomsday device programme. The beer actually matches better with that. I can already smell the duck, so I need to hurry.

It's nothing like as crazily hoppy as I expected. A bit more grapefuity than I like, but OK. Grapefruit, orange. You know something. It may match the food quite well. It might. It could have. But I'll be drinking wine with the main course. If I value my grillocks.

I'm off for dinner now. I'll be back in a hour or so for post-prandial meanderings.

Gave the kids a taste of the DFH. Lexie ran for the toilet. After spatting it out he said: "Blergh! That was horrible. Sweet and bitter." Andrew just did the sucking lemon thing. And gave me a look. "That's how it's supposed to taste. Sweetness and bitterness in perfect disharmony."


19:35 the Ileach
Over a game of Pharoah, I switched to whisky. If I were being nasty, I'd say: to take away the nasty taste of the DFH. But I didn't think it was nasty. Just not what I wanted to drink. Courses, horses, that sort of crap.

"Dad, no, not alcohol. You're taking drugs again. Really, don't."

I feel like the dad in those old temperance posters. "Daddy, please don't drink." My kids have never said those exact words to me. "Dad, no more beer." "Daaad, not a jenever. You know what mum said." Those I've heard.

Time is drawing on, this joke is wearing thin, my family craves attention. Peace and love, peace and love. Man.

It's christmas time

Holiday! No more work this year. Whahay! Let's go crazy apeshit.

It's sad that my first thought wasn't: great, I can laze about drinking beer all day. But: the wide screen on my new computer will be perfect for transcribing brewing records.

I've promised Alexei that we'll finish "Vive la Résistance!" while I'm off. He knocked up a story board yesterday. I rejected all his wood chipper scenes. (Where does he get his ideas? He hasn't seen Fargo.) We eventually came to a compromise. He can make his own blood and gore version. Mine will be 1950's stiff-upper-lip British style.

Barclay Perkins, Barclay Perkins. . . . . No, still doesn't work. I'm hoping that I'm trapped in a total immersion game and that's my escape password. Bum. What could the password be? I thought I'd worked out all the clues. This couldn't be reality, could it?

Barclay Perkins is, as I've already told you as many times as your granny's told you how to suck eggs, the secret-agent hero of "Vive la Résistance!".

1864 Christmas beer

Did I mention that I own one brewing log? From Lovibond, a small London brewer. Browsing I happened upon a very special XXXX Ale. For Christmas, though it was brewed in October.

Here's the recipe:

untitled post

Whitbread Porter and Stout grists 1902 - 1914

A short post today. And one that's little more than a table. Look, the holidays are about to start and I'm taking it easy.

Whitbread Porter and Stout grists 1902 - 1914
Year	Beer	Style	OG	FG	ABV	App. Atten-uation	lbs hops/ qtr	hops lb/brl	pale malt	brown malt	black malt	amber malt	sugar	oats
1902	SS	Stout	1085.9	1032.0	7.13	62.73%	8.61	3.54	55.53%	8.86%	3.38%	18.31%	13.92%	0.00%
1902	SSS	Stout	1094.5	1040.0	7.20	57.65%	8.61	3.89	55.53%	8.86%	3.38%	18.31%	13.92%	0.00%
1901	C	Porter	1055.2	1014.0	5.45	74.63%	6.39	1.64	80.58%	9.53%	6.60%	0.00%	3.30%	0.00%
1901	CS	Stout	1054.6	1014.0	5.37	74.36%	6.39	1.62	80.58%	9.53%	6.60%	0.00%	3.30%	0.00%
1902	P	Porter	1054.0	1012.0	5.56	77.78%	6.41	1.54	81.53%	9.35%	6.24%	0.00%	2.88%	0.00%
1902	S	Stout	1071.9	1026.0	6.07	63.84%	6.41	2.05	81.53%	9.35%	6.24%	0.00%	2.88%	0.00%
1902	C	Porter	1055.9	1015.0	5.41	73.18%	6.39	1.63	80.37%	9.63%	6.67%	0.00%	3.33%	0.00%
1902	CS	Stout	1054.5	1015.0	5.22	72.47%	6.39	1.59	80.37%	9.63%	6.67%	0.00%	3.33%	0.00%
1902	SS	Stout	1087.0	1032.0	7.28	63.23%	8.56	3.70	55.67%	9.13%	3.59%	18.40%	13.21%	0.00%
1902	SSS	Stout	1096.4	1036.0	7.99	62.64%	8.56	4.10	55.67%	9.13%	3.59%	18.40%	13.21%	0.00%
1902	CS	Stout	1055.1	1014.0	5.44	74.60%	6.40	1.64	80.37%	9.63%	6.67%	0.00%	3.33%	0.00%
1902	P	Porter	1053.7	1012.0	5.52	77.67%	6.37	1.57	80.37%	9.63%	6.67%	0.00%	3.33%	0.00%
1902	P	Porter	1053.7	1015.0	5.12	72.09%	6.31	1.59	81.47%	9.63%	6.67%	0.00%	2.22%	0.00%
1902	S	Stout	1074.2	1023.0	6.77	68.99%	8.57	3.13	54.79%	10.16%	3.70%	21.38%	9.98%	0.00%
1902	SS	Stout	1087.0	1031.0	7.41	64.37%	8.57	3.67	54.79%	10.16%	3.70%	21.38%	9.98%	0.00%
1902	SSS	Stout	1096.6	1041.0	7.36	57.58%	8.57	4.07	54.79%	10.16%	3.70%	21.38%	9.98%	0.00%
1901	C	Porter	1054.8	1014.0	5.40	74.46%	6.87	1.74	80.78%	9.43%	6.53%	0.00%	3.26%	0.00%
1901	CS	Stout	1055.0	1014.0	5.43	74.56%	6.87	1.75	80.78%	9.43%	6.53%	0.00%	3.26%	0.00%
1904	CS	Stout	1056.0	1015.0	5.42	73.19%	5.56	1.46	79.08%	8.77%	6.07%	0.00%	6.07%	0.00%
1904	SS	Stout	1087.2	1031.0	7.43	64.44%	10.42	3.76	57.27%	13.36%	9.54%	5.52%	14.31%	0.00%
1904	SSS	Stout	1095.0	1035.0	7.94	63.16%	10.42	4.09	57.27%	13.36%	9.54%	5.52%	14.31%	0.00%
1904	C	Porter	1055.7	1015.0	5.38	73.06%	5.54	1.49	79.08%	8.77%	6.07%	0.00%	6.07%	0.00%
1904	CS	Stout	1055.6	1016.0	5.25	71.25%	5.54	1.49	79.08%	8.77%	6.07%	0.00%	6.07%	0.00%
1904	CS	Stout	1056.2	1016.0	5.32	71.55%	5.50	1.46	79.08%	8.77%	6.07%	0.00%	6.07%	0.00%
1904	CS	Stout	1056.4	1016.0	5.35	71.64%	5.51	1.43	79.08%	8.77%	6.07%	0.00%	6.07%	0.00%
1912	P	Porter	1053.0	1013.0	5.29	75.47%	4.90	1.14	74.53%	9.58%	7.66%	0.00%	8.04%	0.19%
1912	LS	Stout	1053.7	1013.0	5.39	75.81%	4.90	1.15	74.53%	9.58%	7.66%	0.00%	8.04%	0.19%
1912	SS	Stout	1079.9	1027.0	7.00	66.23%	8.45	3.12	52.55%	9.79%	4.26%	19.65%	13.74%	0.00%
1912	SSS	Stout	1095.0	1034.0	8.07	64.21%	8.45	3.71	52.55%	9.79%	4.26%	19.65%	13.74%	0.00%
1912	SS	Stout	1082.0	1029.0	7.01	64.63%	8.49	3.06	55.14%	9.16%	4.11%	17.57%	14.02%	0.00%
1912	SSS	Stout	1096.1	1035.0	8.09	63.59%	8.49	3.59	55.14%	9.16%	4.11%	17.57%	14.02%	0.00%
1912	P	Porter	1054.3	1013.0	5.47	76.08%	4.92	1.16	73.96%	9.38%	7.27%	0.00%	9.15%	0.23%
1912	LS	Stout	1055.3	1013.0	5.60	76.50%	4.92	1.18	73.96%	9.38%	7.27%	0.00%	9.15%	0.23%
1912	Exp S	Stout	1068.4	1020.0	6.41	70.77%	13.05	4.24	51.61%	7.14%	5.35%	18.06%	17.84%	0.00%
1912	SS	Stout	1079.9	1030.0	6.60	62.43%	8.48	3.12	52.70%	9.01%	7.86%	17.20%	13.23%	0.00%
1912	SSS	Stout	1095.8	1039.0	7.51	59.28%	8.48	3.74	52.70%	9.01%	7.86%	17.20%	13.23%	0.00%
1912	P	Porter	1052.4	1012.0	5.34	77.09%	4.89	1.16	73.96%	9.38%	7.27%	0.00%	9.15%	0.23%
1912	LS	Stout	1052.7	1013.0	5.25	75.33%	4.89	1.16	73.96%	9.38%	7.27%	0.00%	9.15%	0.23%
1911	Exp S	Stout	1069.0	1022.0	6.21	68.10%	12.99	4.26	51.61%	7.14%	5.35%	18.06%	17.84%	0.00%
1912	P	Porter	1054.0	1011.0	5.69	79.64%	4.93	1.17	73.96%	9.38%	7.27%	0.00%	9.15%	0.23%
1912	LS	Stout	1055.7	1013.0	5.65	76.65%	4.93	1.21	73.96%	9.38%	7.27%	0.00%	9.15%	0.23%
1914	SS	Stout	1081.7	1027.0	7.24	66.96%	8.45	2.99	53.37%	9.51%	4.30%	18.34%	14.49%	0.00%
1914	SSS	Stout	1096.1	1035.0	8.09	63.59%	8.45	3.52	53.37%	9.51%	4.30%	18.34%	14.49%	0.00%
1914	Exp S	Stout	1065.4	1012.0	7.06	81.64%	13.01	3.94	50.67%	7.43%	5.31%	15.36%	21.23%	0.00%
Source: Whitbread brewing records

What can I say? The proportion of black malt is high, often almost matching the brown malt. Around 5% of the grist is more typical. The classier Stouts - Export Stout, SS and SSS - all have a lot of amber malt in them. Whereas ordinary Porter and Stout contain none.

Whitbread had two basic grists. LS (London Stout) CS (Country Stout) and Porter were brewed from one, ES, SS and SSS from the other. Various combinations of P, C, CS and LS were party-gyled with each other, as were SS and SSS. For some reason ES was always brewed on its own.