Friday, 3 September 2021

Defining IPA

I've been thinking a lot about beer styles as I pound the local streets two or three times a day. Dodging dogs as much as possible.

IPA is incredibly popular. But what is IPA? After much thought, I think I've cracked. It might be a bit too prescriptive so I may have to loosen it up a little.


OG 1001-1200º piss weak to falling over
FG 990-1199º watered-down water to tar
ABV 0%-25% waste of time to where's the toilet?
apparent attenuation 0.1%-99.9% empty nest to fully tanked
acidity 3 pH and up battery acid and up
IBU 0 - 350 nothing to tongue-scorching
colour 0 - 250 SRM pissy straw to obsidian black
Appearance   mountain stream to Mississippi mud
additional ingredients   any grain, malted or unmalted
    fruit
    vegetable
    plant
    animal
    mineral
    root
    spice
    herb
    coffee
    tea
    chocolate
    cocoa
    nut
    seed
    lactose
    lactic acid
    opium
    passion
    vanilla

 

What do you think? Too tight?

9 comments:

@scne59 said...

You've missed some really common ingredients:
Blood, sweat & tears.
And not to forget: Star San!

Ed said...

Could do with a colour spec. really.

Anonymous said...

I think that sums it up pretty well. Anytime you buy a different kind you are in for a surprise sometimes pleasant often barely palatable(but never left unfinished).

Dan Klingman said...

Way too restrictive, arguments will ensue.

Anonymous said...

You left out SRM -- zero to pitch black...

arnie moodenbaugh said...

Just about right.

Anonymous said...

You could also talk about how it's served anywhere from a week old and highly carbed with injected CO2 all the way to long aging in oak barrels with weird bacteria and yeasts and naturally carbed in casks.

Ron Pattinson said...

Why are people missing the colour spec? It's there right under the bitterness.

Al Reece said...

Doesn't IPA stand for "I Piss Aqua/Alcohol"?