Prague (part two)

After a relaxing hour in U Kocoura, we continue our crawl, sorry, cultural tour. Charles Bridge is being renovated and half is out of use. It leaves the remaining half even more tourist-clogged than usual.

After fighting our way across, I propose "Do you want to go somewhere guaranteed 100% tourist-free." Jim and Keith nod eagerly. "Then follow me." Once over the bridge, we fork to the right. Our destination is no more than 200 metres away.

U Rotundy
Karoliny Světlé 17,
Prague 110 00.

I was overjoyed when I rediscovered U Rotundy. A slight confusion over its location left me unable to track it down for many years. I'm pleased to notice no alteration to the exterior. Great - still unspoiled. Entry confirms my preliminary conclusion: apart from the nicotine-stained walls being a shade or two darker, nothing has changed.

There's still just one beer on tap: Staropramen 10º. Another blast from the past. It used to be extremely rare for a pub to offer more than one draught. In less posh pubs, than meant 10º. 10º pale lager, or výčepní as its usually called, is the commonest style of beer in the Czech Republic. But you'll look for it vain in any US-based style guidelines. They only recognise one Czech beer style: Bohemian Pilsner. Typical. The one they do notice, doesn't really exist. What they mean is Světlý Ležák. Which isn't the same as f*cking Pilsner. But I don't have time to argue about that here. Back to U Rotundy.

The Staropramen goes down surprisingly well. It isn't exactly flavour-packed, but is clean and refreshing. When my first is empty, the waitress brings another and whacks it down on the table with a reassuring thud. That's the sort of service I like. She adds a pencil mark to our sheet of paper with a flourish.

A blackboard lists the snacks on sale. Brilliant! We can have Czech tapas. There's no translation, of course. I'm fairly confident what one or two of them are. We order those and a couple of others. What's a life without surprises?

Everyone but us is chain-smoking. At least we're joining in with chain-drinking. A group of middle-aged blokes sits in one corner. They don't say a great deal. Than again, their mouths are pretty well 100% occupied with smoking and drinking. I wonder if they'll be any chattier when a smoking ban is finally introduced? Probably not. They order a new round, though each has his own slip of paper to be marked. What a sociable bunch.

In the opposite corner sit a middle-aged woman and a youth of about 20. He looks slightly mentally throbbled. But he's still taking part enthusiastically in the chain smoking and drinking culture with his mum. I suppose this is care in the community, Czech-style.

The beers and tapas continue to arrive whenever needed. This is how I like to eat on a pub crawl: little bits and bobs, not some thirst-dousing big meal. We eat various sausage- and cheese-based snacks. They only cost around a euro each. I'm having big problems with my crowns. I withdrew 2,000 when we got to the Czech Republic two days ago. I've only managed to get rid of a couple of hundred and we've just 24 hours left in the country. U Rotundy isn't going to use up many.

I make a nostalgic trip to the bogs. Did I tell you that I once locked myself in the toilets here. It's another reason I have such a soft spot for U Rotundy. Yes, yes, YES! AT least one Prague pub is upholding the filthy toilets tradition. Above the urinals are signs saying "Don't throw in fag ends" Makes then hard to light, I guess.

When we're as smoked as kippers, it's sadly time to leave U Rotundy. If I want to maintain some minimal lung function for the rest of the day.

Did I mention that we're in the Staré Město? At the height of stupid pricing in Prague city centre, one of the few classic beerhalls not to succumb was U Medvídků. It's just around the corner, so I suggest it as our next stop.


U Medvídků
Na Perštýne 7,
100 01 Prague 1.
Tel: 2-24 21 19 16
http://www.umedvidku.cz/

This has been one of the city's main Budvar outlets for decades. When, in the late 1980's U Medvidku dropped Budvar, that was a sign of how desperate the regime was for foreign currency. After our stay in České Budějovice, I've just about Budvared myself out. I order 3 Old Gott's instead.

U Medvidku spreads over every floor of the building. The main beerhall is on the ground floor, the basement houses a shop (I bought an excellent Budvar towel there a few years ago) and somewhere in the upper floors is a brewery. Old Gott is the brewery's main product. In the brewpubby bit they have it on draught. Downstairs in the beerhall we have to make do with bottles.

We take a sip and all pull faces like we've been sucking on lemons. "This is undrinkable." says Jim "Full of diacetyl." I pretty much agree, though I do hate leaving beer. Even horrible beer. Jim and Keith give up after a couple of mouthfuls. I bravely soldier on until the end.

We still have a little time before we're due to meet Andy. Embarrassed by the awfulness of Old Gott, I'm keen to redeem myself. "I think I know a nice place just around the corner. An old-fashioned beerhall." Within a couple of minutes we're heading for:

U Dvou Koček
Uhelný Trh 10,
110 00 Prague 1.
Tel: 221 014 354

Our second pub of the day with a cat-based name. The Two Little Cats, in case you were wondering. It's on a small square in the maze of little streets that make up the Old Town.

Beerhalls come in a variety of sizes. Dvou Koček is definitely at the small end. There are two rooms. The smaller has the bar counter and some space for vertical drinking. The larger has vaulted ceilings, white walls and Pilsner Urquell tablecloths. We take a seat. It's busy, but not quite full.

Like most Pilsner Urquell houses in Prague, the draught beers are Prazdroj 12º and Velkepopovické 10º Tmavé. The dark is a good enough drinking beer, so I order that. I can drink Prazdroj any time. And we'll be in the brewery tomorrow. I've got my drinking head on and the 10º is soon disappearing from my glass at an alarmingly swift rate. Not to worry: it's just like drinking Mild. You have to drink it by the bucketful.

I have a confession to make. The last time I was in Dvou Kocek, back in the mid-1980's, I did a runner. At the tim, the pub was operating a three-waiter system: one waiter for beer, one waiter for food and a third waiter for paying. After trying vainly to attract the attention of the last for 45 minutes, I just walked out. Not that there's much chance of the staff recognising me. Our waitress's mum was probably still at school when I ran off.

Our fellow customers are a healthy mix of tourists and locals. Though we're the only travellers. It's quite nice in here. Why haven't I been for so many years? Keith phones Andy, telling him of our location. He'll be along in a few minutes.

Keith gets a call from Andy. "Where is Uhelný Trh, exactly?" He can't find it on his crappy free map. Like I said, it's in a maze of streets all curving about like a can of worms. Explaining how to reach it isn't easy. After consulting a more detailed map, Andy finally works out the route.

We're also joined by Ramsey of the Czech Beer Guide. He's an American living in Prague. I've met him once before in Amsterdam.

The next pub is Ramsey's suggestion:

Pražský most u Valšů
Betlémská 5,
Praha 1.
tel.: 222 333 920
http://www.prazskymost.cz

It's a new one to both me and Andy. It's quite small - a single room [Ramsey has since told me that most of the pub is in the cellar, which we didn't see], decorated in a sort gothic modernist style, if that means anything to you. I like the wall-mounted lights. That's why a take a photo. Tell me if you agree.

On draught are Maly Rohozec pale and dark 12º. I order the dark. It's a bit bland and served with too much top pressure. I'm past taking notes, so you'll have to make do with that brief description.

After one beer, we move on. Andy has made reservations to eat at a Medieval-themed pub back over on the Malá Strana. It's dusk and Charles Bridge is much emptier. The tiled roofs leading up to the castle look magical in the fading glow of the sun. Prague really is stunningly beautiful. Even the masses of tourists can't spoil that.

Krčma U Sedmi Švábů
Jánský vršek 14,
110 00 Prague 1.
Tel: 257 531 455
http://www.svabove.cz

My first impression - who turned the lights out? In keeping with the medieval theme, it's lit by candlelight. We order beer and our food. The beer is Prazdroj, the food some sort of cold meat platter, except for Keith who's ordered chicken wings. Big mistake by Keith. We've long finished eating and there's still no sign of his chicken.

After eating, I make the error of asking Ramsey what it's like living in Prague. It takes the best part of an hour for him to detail everything that pisses him off about the place and its inhabitants. I should know better. I really should. Ask me about Holland and the Dutch and see how long it takes me to get everything off my chest. It's more than an evening's worth. But I have lived in Holland for 20 years. Ramsay has only been here for 6 or 7.

"Time for one more pub." says Andy confidently. U Hrocha is just around the corner.


U Hrocha
Thunovské 20,
Praha.
Tel.: 222 516 978

What a strange layout this place has. There are two rooms separated by an outdoor passageway. A waitress who looks all of 13 flits between the two. "Not getting your way are we, love?" The seats are all full so we have to stand. They wouldn't have let you do this in the old days, just stand in the middle of a room. No seat, no service. That used to be the rule. Unless you were in the small designated standing area in the taproom. Anarchy, it is nowadays. I bet they even let you move chairs from one table to another.

This pub was a suggestion of Stonch. In its overcrowded and my overtired state, it's hard to make a reasoned assessment of its quality. Next time. If I can remember where it is. Around the back of U Schnellu. That's it.

We only manage one last beer. Then it's back to Malostranské námestí - where Andy dropped us off this morning - to pick up a taxi.

It's been a challenging, but satisfying, day. For a start I have two new entries for my Prague Pub Guide - U Kocoura and U Dvou Koček. I don't like to think about how many beers I've knocked back over the course of the day. I reassure myself with the thought that it was mostly just 10º.

Next is the Pilsner Urquell and Zoigl country. How exciting will that be? Find out tomorrow.