God, I'm stupid. CAMRA's Mild Month is the perfect opportunity for me to push my book about Mild.
It's called, if you're a goldfish, "Mild! plus". At least the full version is. (There's a shorter and cheaper "Mild!" for the financially challenged.)
I can say without fear of conflagration that it's the longest, most detailed and fact-packed book ever written about Mild. That's not such a wild, egotistical claim, as I know of only one other book on the subject.
"What is Mild?" The book will tell you. About everything Mild has been. In grillock-twisting detail. You'll wish you'd never asked the question in the first place.
"How do I brew Mild?". It'll tell you that, too. There's a ton of recipes spanning the 19th and 20th centuries. Mostly stuffed with brewing sugars you'll never be able to buy.
And a stack of other shit. Numbers, statistics, more numbers, the odd word that wasn't written 150 years ago.
I'd tell you more, but my chips are almost the right shade of browny-black.
Buy Mild! plus! Before my tea burns.
Here it is in some other forms:
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