And the winner is . . . . .

The tension. I can feel it. You could cut it with a machete. Cut it bad. Finally Lexie's middle name will be revealed and the winners unconcealed.

There were several entries. Mostly way wide of the mark. I don't know what sort of monster dad some of you think I am. Now to the answer.

Some answers were (I hope) obvious jokes. Andrew thought of Affrikka. He was delighted someone picked it. "It's the sort of stupid name trendy parents give their kids." "You should have doubled the final A." I suggested, too late. Emergencypint Elmo and Rimmer were his, too.

Lexie's contributions were Artwodeetwo and Brian. Varied inspiration there, Lexie.

Tarquin and Candelent are names that I might actually have used. Tarquin, just because, well, just because. Candelent was my mother's maiden name.

Vodka and Crumpet were just being silly. In case you didn't notice. If you really didn't notice, I suggest finding residential care.

Lexie's name has a beer connection. Many guessed that. But there are a couple of reasons why some of the names were non-starters:

1. Dolores would never have let me give one of our kids a stupid name
2. You can't just call your kid anything you want here in Holland. There are rules about which names are acceptable.

That rules out Pilsen and Stout. Probably Mild and Ale, too. We're left with Porter, Barclay, Perkins and Burton. All those would have passed. Now, if Lexie had been born a few years later, he probably would have been called Barclay Perkins Pattinson. But he was born before my obsession with the Southwark brewer began.

That's why his middle name is Burton.


Silly me. I should mention the winners. That's Barry M and mrbowenz. If you can get in touch with me via the email on my website. Let me know your postal address and a shiny (I handled them after eating chips) copy of "War!" will be on its way immidiately*.

There may be more prizes. Depends what I have left lying around.


*Immediately may be a period of weeks.