Sunday, 31 October 2021


I've become much more emotional as I've aged. At least overtly so.

Though devastated, I can't recall crying at my father's death. While at my mother's funeral. I could barely sing. My throat choked and my eyes streamed.

It's not that I loved my father any less than my mother. I'd changed.

Looking back, my younger self seems cold. Suppressing my feelings? I don't know.  

Tears didn't come to younger me. Having children changed that.

I'm sure that having children tipped me emotionally. I don't know why, or how. But it did.

I never used to cry. Now I do all the time. Not from sadness. But from joy. From empathy. Music, beauty. All can invoke tears.

Teenage me would have been ashamed, embarrassed. Wanted to hide such a raw expression of emotion.

Adult me couldn't give a shit about hiding my feelings. Other than from my kids. Who wants to see their father cry?

Music sets me off most. A melody so wonderful that my eyes leak uncontrollably. Like Face à la mer.

Emotion? I think it's a good thing.


Dan Klingman said...

Being the same age as you, I can relate.

David said...

Agreed - nothing wrong with being emotional and showing it. What fascinates me is the triggers. I don't particularly enjoy sentimental films but when my partner puts one on I sometimes find myself blubbing. (Last example, in case you're interested, was the "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" on Netflix.)

Thanks for sharing the "Face à la mer" link!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for writing that. More men should be at ease about this kind of thing.