Saturday, 22 December 2018

OK then

By popular demand, Drinkalongathon will return this year.

Here are the things you'll need if you want to take part:

1 bottle Lagavullin
1 crate St. Bernardus Abt
1 bottle dry sherry
1 boiled egg
2 pickled eggs
3 coddled eggs
4 bottled eggs
1 pint of brandy
2 bottles red wine
3 pieces of string*
16 pistacchio nuts
1 cm. cube of ginger
1 pinch of snuff3 picks of peppercorns
1 pick
2 noses (picked)
4 peppers (picked)
1 eel
1 ell of elbows
1 bow
1 tube of vaseline
1 tub of vases
1 throw rug
2 grow bags
1 murder of crows
3 murdered crows
1 Viz Christmas edition
1 icepick
a cellar with a concrete floor
3 cranberries
2 blueberries
120 scranbernes
4 regretberries
bleach, disinfectant and other cleaning materials
3 pairs surgical gloves
2 socks (white)
1 truss (used)
7 heavy duty bin bags
1 oak tree (leaning dangerously)
1 hole, 115 cm square, half a cubit deep
cream, frightened, not whipped
25 beer mats**
25 cl sugar-free cola
1 lemon (optional)

If you remember one thing, make it the string. The Drinkalongathon doesn't work without it.

* Don't get caught out by this year's increased string requirement.
** Why do London pubs never have beer mats? I hate that.


Dan Klingman said...

I'm adding in a sugar cube, otherwise this list won't make any sense...

John said...

I can never remember is it US, Imperial or metric lengths of string? My ironmonger stocks all three.

Ed said...

I don't know if I can stretch to the three pieces of string.

Dan Klingman said...

25 beer mats**

** Why do London pubs never have beer mats? I hate that.


Anonymous said...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but if I only have one piece of string, I am not allowed to cut it into three pieces; it must be three pieces. Also, if I have four pieces, I can't tie two of them together. Is that right?

Ron Pattinson said...


obviously you can't magically make three pieces of string from one. If you have four pices, just throw one away.