When Christopher Hutt give his lament that title in 1973, he didn't fear the pub's total extinction. Just the disappearance of pubs as they had been before the 1960s. It seems pubs now face a more existential threat. At least, if my recent visit to the UK is anything to go by.
Me and Mikey regularly pop over to Folkestone in his car. To drink beer, east fish and chips, have a curry, buy cheese and crumpets to bring home. I've drunk in the town's pubs pretty often. Believe me, pretty often. I have a point of reference.
It had been a while since our last trip. Two and a half years. But it was quite a shock to see the changes in pub life.
First night there, Thursday, we went to the Royal Cheriton on Cheriton High Street*..Three customers. A mother and her ten-year-old daughter, dressed for Halloween, and an old chav in a corner nursing a pint. When we left after a couple of pints, we were the last customers. I've never seen the pub that quiet at any time of day.
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The interior of the Royal Cheriton with empty seats and a sigh saying "Blackheath".
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Next day, Friday, we're in Dover for some shopping. (At Iceland, don't judge me.) A new shopping centre close to the docks. I notice a pub right next to it and think "That's a bit of luck for that boozer, having a load of shops built right next to it.
Mikey has something to do, so I think what I always think when I have a free moment and there's a pub nearby: "Let's give that pub a try."
Totally deserted.
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A pub bar with empty chairs and only a barman behind it.
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That evening, 8 PM in the East Kent Arms. A down-to-earth sort of place that's usually pretty busy. A dozen drinkers, clustered around the bar.
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The bar of the East Kent Arms with Halloween decorations.
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Harvey's an hour later: ten customers, at most.
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The bar in Harveys with an old man watching football on TV.
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This was a Friday night in a town centre. The lack of punters was truly scary. What's it like on a wet Monday?
I fear for pubs as an institution. As a part of everyday life every where in the country.
Only one pub we visited that night was busy. You can probably guess which. Wetherspoons. Where the beer was 1.99 a pint.
Yet more sadness. None of the pubs mentioned (other than 'Spoons) had any cask beer. While they had before, except the East Kent Arms. I'm guessing a sign of falling sales generally.
London and touristy spots like York will doubtless keep a reasonable number of pubs. Maybe even mostly sustained by visitors.
What about less fashionable towns? How many pubs will survive in them?
* We also ate Sunday dinner here. Under nine quid for a proper home-cooked roast. Dead good. I can totally recommend it. There were a fair few other customers, but on our previous visit we struggled to find a seat. I feel very sorry for the landlady because it's a well-run pub.