Friday, 3 July 2009

Shameless self-promotion

There's nothing worse than a purportedly independent beer writer using his work to promote his own financial interests. Shameless self-promoting bastards. Pardon my French.

Integrity is my greatest asset. How could I compromise that for money? I'd be crzay. Your trust in my impartiality underpins this blog. I dare to back up my words with hard, cold facts. Can you say that Mr. XXXX [original letters blanked out]?

That's why I'm delighted to announce my own line of Tacky Merchandise. Designed to enrich the left hand side of the Pattinson family. It's a long story. And my daily ration of St. Bernardus Abt is drunk. A bit like me.

This is what people are saying about Shut up about Barclay Perkins Tacky Merchandise:

"Low-quality, expensive, poorly-designed, exploitative crap."
"Like Stalin - but worse."
"Have these bloggers no shame?"
"Offensive in a totally charmless way."
"******* ** ******* ******* *** ********* ***** shite"
"Life is no longer worth living."

You could experience the same ecstasy (my products contain no illegal substances of any kind) by purchasing Shut up about Barclay Perkins Tacky Merchandise.


The Beer Nut said...

The Smack one is nice, but could I have it in Spital?

Ron Pattinson said...

Beer Nut, you can have it wherever you want.

The Beer Nut said...

Actually, the Barclay's Russian Stout one is my favourite, though the backprint needs a bit of editing.

Ron Pattinson said...

Beer Nut, thanks for mentioning that. Just fixed it.