Thursday, 15 November 2012

Drinkalongathon 2012

Did I mention that I have a Freesat box? It's brilliant. I can get most British channels. All the classy ones. ITV3, ITV4+1, 5*, More4, BBC Parliament. The higher-number ITV channels are great if you want to pretend that you're living in the 1970's. Something that happens to me 3 or 4 times a year.

I brought that up because of christmas adverts. They started a few months ago. Reminding me that it's that special time of year. When I create a unique blogging experience. The Drinkalongathon. Which I traditionally* hold at Christmas.

This year I want to make it extra, extra special. By adding an interactive element that lets you really drink along. How cool is that! You'll be able to join me in every drink, all through the day. And send in your own pictures to feature on the blog.

"How can I take part, Ron?"

I'm glad you asked that. By preparing. Because, if you're going to join me in every drink, you'll need to have supplies in. Very specific supplies.

To allow you plenty of time to stock up, I'll give you the requirements now.

1 crate St. Bernardus Abt
8 bottles St. Bernardus Prior
1 bottle manzanilla sherry
1 bottle fino sherry
1 bottle port (preferably LBV)
1 bottle Lagavullin
1 bottle Laphroaig 
1 bottle Villiers 8
1 bottle Rotkäppchen
1 bottle of some red wine or other
1 small bottle of still water
1 packet paracetamol and codeine
1 mini pork pie
1 bottle vermouth
1 wheelchair
1 medium-sized plastic bag
2 bottles absinthe
1 mop
2 buckets
1 10 inch piece of string
1 soft boiled egg
1 quarter slice of Warburton thick sliced bread, toasted
1 bottle 8 year old rum, preferably Appleton
1 slice of lemon
1 rasher of thick-sliced smoked bacon
3 toothpicks
2 bottles Guinness Special Export Stout
1 bar soap
1 bottle grappa
4 paper hats
6 paper handkerchiefs
1 miniature vermouth
1 bottle advocaat
3 anchovy fillets
1 spare pair underwear
2 spare pairs trousers
5 spoons
7 medium-sized pickled onions
1 1.25 inch diameter Jersey Royal potato, boiled for 6 minutes
1 half bottle overproof rum
2 glasses crank
1 red star badge
1 portrait of Stalin
1 demijohn applejack
1 pack smackothene
1 wrap crystal sugar
1 wrap icing sugar
1 7-inch willow-patterned plate
3 roast turnips
1 bottle chili beer
6 rolls toilet paper
1 stretcher

Not much there you wouldn't already have around the house anyway. I've the lot, other than the bar of soap and the three toothpicks.

* In the sense of at least once before.


Ed said...

Sorry, you're too early, no talk of xmas is allowed until tomorrow.

Unknown said...

Bloody hell, I now have to go out and buy another pair of underpants.

Craig said...

...and a partridge in a pear TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Tim said...

Can I substitute Ardbeg for Laphroaig as my preferred camp fire in a bottle and porter as a substitute for everything else?

Arctic Alchemy said...

Picture of Stalin ?

Andrew Elliott said...

I'll see your list, and raise you 20L of Samichlaus.

mentaldental said...

I seem to have a surprizing number of the items listed already to hand. Does this make me a piss head?

Ron Pattinson said...

Arctic, what's strange about a pictiure of Stalin? I thought everyone had one in their living room.

Ron Pattinson said...

Mental, no, just a perfectly normal adult.

cercle said...

Will my portrait of Erich Honecker do instead of Stalin?

Ron Pattinson said...

cercle, even better. My wife seems to have lost our Erich portrait.

Martyn Cornell said...

I can't do Stalin, but there are a surprising number of ceramic statues of Chairman Mao on sale in the flea markets of old Hong Kong.

Ron Pattinson said...

Martyn, at a pinch, Mao will do.