Kyoto birthday

It's Andrew's birthday. Slightly odd having it fall while we’re in Japan.

The typhoon is a bit worrying as they're warning of train cancellations tomorrow, too. Though it mostly seems to be west of Kyoto. We're just outside the red area here so hopefully the trains will be running to Tokyo tomorrow. The TV news has been showing empty stations.

“That bottle of whisky looks emptier than when I went to bed last night.”

“I had some after you’d left.” Andrew replies.

“Who said you could drink my whisky?”

“You shouldn’t have left it here if you didn’t want any of it drunk.” I hate logic like that.

We try to visit an old mansion but it’s closed on account of the storm. It's a bit windy, but not too bad so far. Seems a bit over the top to be closed for a little breeze.

There are quite a lot of old wooden buildings on the way. Many of which look abandoned. Though that could be the style. A postman seems to be delivering letters to at least one. They have barred wooden windows, I guess a hangover from pre-glass days. Some newer posher buildings, too. With double car parking spaces in front. Plus one dead grand traditional looking house.

See one house that can't have been more than 2 metres wide. Even smaller than the stupidly narrow houses in Amsterdam.

“Dad, can you stop taking photos?”

“Can’t you see the interesting old house?”

“Stop it, Dad, and hurry up before the weather gets too bad.”

Brilliant. We’re in a really interesting bit of town and I’m not allowed to take photos. The kids can be real twats sometimes.

“What do you want to do, kids?”

“We could take a closer look at the tower.”

“I’m OK with that. It does have a pub, doesn’t it?”

“Can you shut up with that shit?”

“Just trying to lighten the mood.”

“Don’t. It’s really annoying.”

The kids are so tolerant.

We trail down to Kyoto tower. The light rain is making walking more than 100 metres a possibility. We've walked almost the whole way to the station. It’s the longest walk we’ve had – other than in an airport – since arriving in Asia.

“Do you want to go up the tower, kids?”

“No, I don’t need to do that.”

“Do you want to go into the food court underneath it?”

“No.” The lads are very adventurous today.

This definitely seems to be downtown. Looks like the main shopping district. What with all the shops. And people.

Alexei has taken my last paracetamol. Spotting a chemist, I nip in to stock up. The shelves are helpfully labelled in English, so I can find where the pain-killers are easily enough. But all the packages are only in Japanese. I grab a random packet and ask at the till if it's paracetamol. A bloke in a white coat says no and walks over with me to show me which are.

Outside the wind is picking up and the kids are getting nervous about the weather. They’re keen on getting back to the hotel.

“Uncle David was in Jamaica when that was hit by a hurricane.”

“Yes. What’s your point?

“He said it was dead windy.”

“Now, there’s a surprise. You have some rubbish stories, Dad.”

Andrew's stomach is buggered. Me and Alexei go to eat in a little Japanese fast-food place a few doors down from the hotel. I noticed it the other day. The low prices grabbed my attention. For food and beer.

At the entrance they have machines where you order and pay for your food. It spits out a ticket, which you give to the waiter. Some foreigners must struggle with the concept, as there’s a sign on the door in English saying you have to get a ticket from the machine first.

It’s amazingly fast. Our meals are delivered just a couple of minutes after we sit down. A Japanese family come in and they’re gone in 10 minutes. Served and fully eaten up.

The food isn’t bad at all. I’ve not had a single duff meal in Japan. The quality of the food is very high. Even in fast food restaurants or convenience stores. Did I mention that I really love Japan?

It’s been raining a bit this evening and it’s quite windy, but nothing too crazy. We seem to have missed the worst of it.

Watching more baseball. The other incomprehensible stuff gets boring after a while. Baseball I can understand. But Japanese baseball does have some odd features. At a certain point in each game, the fans sing a song and wave sperm-shaped balloons, which they release at the end of the song. Then there are the 6-year-old cheer leaders who troop out at one gap between innings.

The typhoon is having some effect. When I go to the 7 11 with Alexei for more nosh, it’s absolutely pissing it down outside. We wait for the lights to change and sprint across the road.

Suntory Highball, sushi and squid jerky for me. Another sausage on a stick for Alexei. This time it is like a corn dog. Obviously, we get cans of Strong Zero for Andrew. Then a sprint back over the road.

We’re watching a Japanese programme where people are just fishing from a boat in the sea. Half are women. None of the throwing the fish back shit. Back on, land they're now cooking it.

Japanese and Korean TV has loads of graphics and other shit on the screen. It often looks very cluttered. Adding little bits of animation over live TV is weird.

The Japan Korea trade war is a big deal. There were loads of Boycott Japan signs in the Seoul metro - on every train door, in fact. Just saw video of people in Korea pouring away Asahi and Pocari Sweat. No problem with the Sweat, but that's a waste of beer.

When we watched the English-language Korean news in Korea, the first five items were about the problems with Japan.

Andrew was feeling a bit shit with his stomach earlier today, but he’s perked up this evening a bit. That’s probably due to the Strong Zero. That usually cheers him up.

Luckily, the trains look like they'll be OK tomorrow. The trains were running from here to Tokyo today, so I think we'll be fine tomorrow.

The hotel left a card (with notes on it) and sweets for Andrew in his room today. They must have noticed from his passport that it was his birthday today. They really are very nice here. I love Japan. Only seen two policemen so far, but no anarchy on the streets. Social control, obviously.

“What’s your favourite ELO song, Dad?” Alexei is going on about the Electric Light Orchestra again. It's so weird. And annoying. It makes me wish I’d dawdled more taking photographs earlier.

“Roll Over Beethoven.”

“Not Mr. Blue Sky?”

“No, not Mr. Effing Blue Sky.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s shit. I’ve told you that several times.”

I quick whisky or two and I’m off to bed. Another day of travel tomorrow.



Yayoiken Gojo Karasuma
600-8173 Kyoto,
Shimogyō-ku,
Matsuyachō.
Tel: +81 75-353-1805
https://www.yayoiken.com/

Kyoto temple

Today’s plan is to visit the nearby temple. Which is supposed to be pretty impressive.

First we nip to the 7 11 to get some breakfast. Sandwiches for me and Alexei, Strong Zero for Andrew. How much of that stuff has he drunk since we’ve been here?

The temple isn’t that far away. Just a few hundred metres. Which on most days would have been a big problem. But we’re already feeling the effects of the typhoon. It’s raining and a good bit cooler. Not exactly pleasant, but way better than every other day so far.

There are so many 7 11s here. One about every 100 metres. We pass three on the short walk to the temple, two virtually opposite each other.  And they all open 24 hours a day. Which, as they don’t seem to have licensing laws, means you can buy whisky 24/7. Yet another reason to love Japan.

It takes us a while to find the entrance to the temple. I’m starting to quite enjoy the rain. It’s only really mizzling. Enough to cool you down without soaking you. Perfect, really.

The temple is supposedly one of the largest wooden buildings in the world. I can believe that as it is pretty damn big. I’m surprised that there aren’t signs about naked flames here as they were at the temple in Tokyo.

You have to take your shoes off to enter the temple. Andrew can’t be arsed so only me and Alexei go in. It’s pretty impressive. But, as you aren’t allowed to take photographs inside, I can’t show you. Most of the interior is covered in mats, where people sit and pray.

When we’re done wandering around the temple complex we walk back to our hotel. The rain has got heavier. But it’s still more pleasant than the weather has been for the rest of the trip. We manage to get back to the hotel without Andrew passing out.

There’s a lot on the news about the approaching typhoon. Thankfully with graphics, so we have some idea of what they’re talking about. The Typhoon is predicted to make landfall around Hiroshima. Kyoto is in the outer zone. But only just.

In the evening we head out to a beer pub, which isn’t that far away from our hotel. It’s in a little side street close to the river.

Here was me thinking Amsterdam pubs were small. Hachi Craft Beer and Sake makes Cafe Belgique look like a Wetherspoons. Just four seats. But they have two record decks and non-stop vinyl playing. Mostly early 70's discoey funky stuff today. Upstairs is a vinyl record shop.

Only 5 draught beers, but, as I said, the place is tiny. You could maybe cram in a dozen people. Oh, they also have 8 sakes in bottles. The big bastard ones sake always seems to come in. Some served warm, some cold.

There’s food, too. Which is incredible in a space only about 25% bigger than my bathroom. Just little bits and bobs, but it’s still impressive. They’re very good at making the most of limited space in Japan. Which I suppose is just logical, given the geography of the country.

“Where are you from?” the barmaid asks Andrew.

“Amsterdam.”

“Australia?”

“No, Amsterdam, in Holland.”

The barmaid laughs nervously and employs that most female of Japanese gestures: she covers her mouth with her hand.

Alexei has ordered a Thornbridge beer.

“You do know that’s an English beer? In fact you were drinking with Dom, one of their brewers just a few weeks ago when we were in Sheffield.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“Sure I said something at the time.”

Andrew’s gone with a local beer, Kyoto Brewing Fresh Hop Wheat Ale.

And me? Hotan, a Black IPL from Hop Kotan Brewing on Hakkaido.

I’m starting to feel nostalgic for beers like this. Once they made me a little bit sad. Now I think: at least it isn’t full of sludge and seems to have been brewed competently.

“What are you on about, Dad?”

“Did I just say that out loud?”

“Yes, Dad.”
“Yes, Dad.”

“Can you shut up about all that beer shit, now?” Alexei can be quite aggressive.

“OK, Lexxie. What do you think of the size of the sake bottles here?”

“They’re huge, but that’s is still beer shit. Sake is technically beer because it’s made from fermented grain. You told me that. I’m not stupid.”

I don’t fancy any of the other draught beers – either styles I’m not into or imported – I’m switching to sake.

“Because none of the others are strong enough, you mean.”

“Did I say that out loud again?”

“Yes, Dad.”
“Yes, Dad.”

I start with Kuro Ushi red label, described as “strong and straight / cold.”

“You’ve gone for the strongest one again. Can you stop that?” Alexei is getting wound up again.

“It’s only 100 mils. And Sake doesn’t get that strong.”

“You know what I mean. Don’t go crazy.” Alexei says sternly.

“When did I ever go crazy?”

“Lots of times, Dad.” Andrew’s voice sounds weary.

“I don’t remember that.”

“Exactly, Dad.”

Christ. The indignities I have to suffer and the hands of those little bastards.

“Who are you calling a bastard, Dad?”

“Did I say that out loud again?”

“Yes, Dad.”
“Yes, Dad.”

“And it makes sense you calling your own children bastards. Are you stupid?” Alexei is always on the front foot.

For purely scientific purposes, I’m having a warm sake. Just to compare the two styles.

Alexei scowls over at me. “Dad, remember what I said about not going crazy?”

“It’s only 100 mils.”

“You keep saying that.”

Great to see how the warm sake is prepared. Pan full of water on a hob, sake measured out into a metal cup and put in the pan. Warmed while the barmaid stirs and monitors the temperature with a thermometer. So wonderfully precise.

Someone comes in with a bag of 12-inchers. He shows them to the DJ. Looks like he’s looking to sell.

They were also showing From Dusk Until Dawn, projected on the back wall. The distortion caused by the uneven projection surface made the film all that weirder.

What a great pub. A classic.

We don’t stay too late, still worrying a bit about the weather. The typhoon is due to strike land in the next few hours. I get myself another ready meal in the 7 11 opposite the hotel. And cash in my 50 yen off Yakitori coupon.

I’ve been making great efforts not to accumulate change. Wherever possible, I’ve been paying the exact amount with as many coins as possible. Right down to the last yen. It’s working. My wallet is much lighter than it was a few days ago.

I end the day with some cheap whisky in the kids’ room.


HACHI Craft Beer and Sake
19 Hiraicho,
Shimogyo-ku,
Kyoto, 600-8118
sakahachi.jp
075-746-7694

Train to Kyoto

Alexei is feeling a bit better today. I think the paracetamol I gave him helped. Either that or the vodka. I’m such a good father.

We walk to the station. It’s really not worth pissing around with a taxi. We’re still sweaty messes when we get there. Despite it only being a few hundred metres. And it still being quite early.

“Where’s the air-conditioned waiting room?” Andrew has his priorities. Can’t say I blame him, though. It’s dead hot again.

The train is much quieter today. And we have reserved seats. In the "green carriage", which is the equivalent of first class. On some trains our JR rail passes are valid in them. It's still crazy hot. But at least we’re travelling first class.

We zoom through a typical Japanese landscape of dead flat, bright green paddy fields, backed by tree-crowded hills, or sometimes stony mountains. Punctuated by the odd and oddly densely-packed settlement. Quite soothing. Especially when you have a seat. And a can of Suntory Highball in your hand.

I'm slightly worried about the approaching typhoon. Which is scheduled to make landfall in a couple of days. Luckily we're moving east - it's predicted to hit Hiroshima pretty much head on.

The trains, as you would expect, are dead reliable. Mostly leaving and arriving on the dot. There are a crazy number of trains - there's a shinkansen every 5 or 6 minutes.

Japan really is as fun as 10 fun sticks. Amazingly safe, polite, friendly, and even more queue disciplined than the UK. And they have German sausages. It's like Germany plus. In all the good ways. It's really like all the best bits of Germany and the UK combined.

Unsurprisingly,
We roll into Kyoto dead on time. It’s still effing hot. That doesn’t seem to change. We head outside in search of a taxi.

The taxi drivers were wearing "foreigner friendly" armbands. Makes you wonder if they have foreigner unfriendly taxi drivers, too. Never mind. We’re soon ensconced in a cab and rocking and rolling the way to our hotel.

Our hotel rooms are big this time. With a little kitchen, too. Dead handy. Alexei has a look through the cutlery draw. “Look at these, Dad.” He says, holding up a huge pair of kitchen knives.

“Handy for if I turn psycho after the shops have closed.”

“Don’t you mean when, Dad?”

Alexei informs me that there's a temple nearby. I'm more interested in the nearest offie.

“7 11 for snacks?”

“Too fucking right, Dad.”

“And whisky?”

“Strong Zero, Dad, Strong Zero.” Andrew is really getting into this alcopop.

I treat myself to a ready meal from the 7 11 opposite. And a bottle of whisky. Spirits are crazily cheap here. A full bottle is the same price as three half litre cans of beer.

The kids are fascinated by the bread section. Oddly the bread comes in packages of 2, 4, 5 and 6 slices. We saw a bread advert on the TV and it was as weird as fuck. The slices are about double as thick as Warburtons. Obviously, Alexei insisted on buying some, especially as our rooms have a toaster. And one wide enough to take the crazy thick slices.

We hang around in the kids’ room, watching weird Japanese TV. Pretty much all the programmes, other than the news, are weird. Andrew and Alexei are drinking Strong Zero, while I sip on a Suntory whisky. Strong Zero is also made by Suntory. They seem to manufacture pretty much every kind of drink, alcoholic and non-alcoholic.

The kids really love it here. I'm just enabling them really.