Random Dutch beers (part nine)

Do you know what these little posts represent? An evening's drinking. Of new beers. I've been going all eclectic. Is that the right word? No idea. Let's just move on.

Pretty sure this this is another naked brewery. i.e. it has no kit. I may be able to tell you more once I've peeled the label off. The print is tiny.

I do this live. Typing as I tipple. Obviously not at exactly the same time. Hang on while I dive into

Cinema Brewers Paradiso Basil IPA 5.5% ABV
Some pale yellow shade, cornfield or some poetic crap like that, head breaking like fluffy clouds in strong winds. Or, pale yellow, head disappearing a bit. Some sort of vegetable smell. My suggestometer is indicating the possibility of basil. But is that just because of the name?

"Dolores. Can you sniff this?"

Dolores sniffs.

"Can you smell any herb or spice?"

Sniffs again. "No."

"Because it's called basil IPA."

"Definitely not basil."

Wow. Certainly bitter enough for an IPA up front. What is that? Mint. Like mint toothpaste mixed with the horrible green gunk that's the very last stuff to come out when you puke your stomach empty. Not that it's totally unpleasant. Nicer if you like this sort of hop. Maybe the small print on the label will give a clue. More medicinal than fruity. Laphroaig without the fun.

Jopen Ooost Indie Porter 6.5% ABV
Black. Black as the coal that belched sulphurous, choking smoke into our living room when I was a child, yet melted toy soldiers in such a gruesomely fascinating way. Slightly mucky black. Like coal. No, not like coal. That stuff's seriously black. Get anywhere near it and you're in danger of being mistaken for a Black and White Minstrel*. Quite fizzy, but forms a head as firm as merangue. Smells like an unemptied pub ashtray at 9:48 AM the following day. In a not totally unpleasant way. Not sure about this. Is that a stack of brown malt? Or am I talking out of the wrong end of my body again? Roasty as a Sunday joint left sunbathing all day in Alice Springs without suncream. Bit acrid, but drinkable.

"Dolores, do -"

"No, Ronald. I've got things to do. Like clean the toilets. When did you last do that?"

"That's a no then."


* Look it up on the internet, children.