Attempted cathedral

I rise about 8:30. And fiddle with my flipflop a little.

Alexei knocks on my door around 9:30. Andrew won't be joining us for breakfast. Which is no surprise. I have my usual. Bacon and scrambled egg. Followed by fruit.

After we've eaten, Alexei goes back to his room. While I fiddle on the internet. What an exciting time we’re having.

The kids wander over about 1 PM. Alexei is hungry so I look for somewhere to eat lunch. I settle on Mane. Mostly because they have pasteis. Also, because it’s open, they have beer and the prices aren’t stupid. It’s not far away, either.

We sit outside. Andrew isn't hungry, of course. The kids get a draught Heineken. While I have a caipirinha. My default drink, when in Brazil. It’s a bit odd that the kids are drinking Heineken. Andrew doesn’t even like it that much.

“Why are you drinking Heineken, Andrew?”

“It’s cold and wet. And has alcohol in it.”

I can’t really argue with that assessment.

“And you’re on the caipirinhas again, Mr. ‘I’m a beer writer’.” He continues.

“Can’t I have a day off? There’s no interesting beer here, anyway.”

Alexei orders a hamburger. While I get a prawn and cream cheese pasteis. Which is dead good. A modest meal. But with a pastry wrapping. You can never go wrong with a pie. And they seem to love them in South America.

We decide to go and have a look at the metropolitan cathedral. Which is a weird concrete pyramid. And the nearby tram on an old aqueduct. That boxes a few ticks. We take an Uber.

It takes a while to get there. By which time I'm dying for a piss. Luckily, there are signs for a toilet outside the cathedral. But you have to pay 2 reals at the snack bar. Which is just closing. Fuck.

I really don’t want to piss myself. And start looking for possible pissing places. Surely there must be a pub nearby?

“See if you can find a pub Andrew. You don’t want to see your Dad soil himself.”

“You’re pretty soiled at the best of times.”

“This isn’t the time for jokes.”

Andrew checks on his phone for the nearest bar. There's supposedly one on the next corner. But we can't spot any trace of it on the ground.

We carry on walking down the street. I’m now seriously considering having a wazz at the next even vaguely suitable spot. Or even a totally unsuitable one. Less public shame in that than piss-stained kecks.

Then, magically, we spot something on the next corner. And, yes, its lights are on.

It’s a typical little Brazilian corner bar. Called Rainha Santa Isabel. I’m saved. Or at least my kecks are. I order a caipirinha and dash to take a slash.

Now relieved, I’ve more chance to look around. It has the typical arrangement, with a snack display built into the bar counter. The kids got themselves bottles of Heineken while I was in the bog.

It’s pretty cheap here. Just 20 reals for a caipirinha. That’s about 3.30 euros.

I can't be arsed to go back and look at the cathedral and tram. Not after all that stress. I just let the kids go off by themselves. 

“Just want to sit and drink caipirinhas again?”  Andrew asks.

“It’s to recover from the shock.”

“What shock?”

“Of almost pissing myself.”

“Don’t be melodramatic.”

“You don’t understand what it’s like being old.”

“Don’t play the geriatric card again. You’re not that old. Just fat and lazy.”

There was no need for that last bit.

Left on my own the landlord and a couple of locals, I look at the Guardian website on my phone. Which I can do with my mobile data.

Did I mention that I got an e-sim adaptor? My phone doesn’t have a built-in e-sim capability. But a special sim provides it with one. Which is going to be dead handy in future.

They're very friendly in the bar. When the kids get back, we order another round of drinks.

Drinks drunk, I order an Uber. When they start closing up as soon as we leave, we realise that they've stayed open just for us. Which is nice. People are so friendly in Brazil. Even to dumb foreigners like us.

We wander down to the supermarket when we get back. To stock up on food and drinks.

We find some football on the TV. Of course, we do. In Brazil there’s always football somewhere on TV. It's a Brazilian league game. And a reasonably entertaining one.

Alexei heads off to bed around midnight. While me and Andrew stay up later to finish the bottle of Ypioca cachaca we picked up from the supermarket earlier.



Mané Ipanema
R. Teixeira de Melo, 31
loja G
Ipanema,
Rio de Janeiro
RJ, 22410-010.
https://botecomane.com.br/



Café e Bar Rainha Santa Isabel
R. do Lavradio,
Lapa,
Rio de Janeiro
RJ, 20230-070.