Film

Lexie's making a new film: Nazi Zumbies. I think it's some sort of costume drama.

"Dad, do you want to do something grooveroovertastic?"

"No."

"I'll pay you a euro."

"OK then."

Lexie's film needs props. He roped me in to paint the handle of the golden gun. Black. Fortunately, the same colour as most of my clothes. And all of the ones I'm wearing today. Except for the socks. I'm a bit Dirk in that department.

Lexie's now spraying metallic paint onto a mint tin. Some sort of magazine. Should be an interesting film.

"Do you have any empty vodka bottles, dad?"

"There's a hip-sized bottle of rum we got for our New Year's cocktails." (Word of advice. Never let children mix your cocktails.)

"Dad? Can I have one of your empty beer bottles?"

"Why?"

"As a prop. So it looks like I'm drinking beer. I'll fill it with cola."

"We need a special device for that." I opened the funnel cupboard. "Do you know what it's called?""

"A funnel, dad. I'm not stupid."

Pouring cola into a St. Bernardus bottle. For show. I've done exactly the same myself. Just the other way around. When accompanying Lexie to Judo. One and a half Abts in a half litre cola bottle. Definitely helped pass the time. And to not look a total alcy.

"Look dad, I'm drinking beer."

"Good lad."