Shameless self-promotion

There's nothing worse than a purportedly independent beer writer using his work to promote his own financial interests. Shameless self-promoting bastards. Pardon my French.

Integrity is my greatest asset. How could I compromise that for money? I'd be crzay. Your trust in my impartiality underpins this blog. I dare to back up my words with hard, cold facts. Can you say that Mr. XXXX [original letters blanked out]?

That's why I'm delighted to announce my own line of Tacky Merchandise. Designed to enrich the left hand side of the Pattinson family. It's a long story. And my daily ration of St. Bernardus Abt is drunk. A bit like me.

This is what people are saying about Shut up about Barclay Perkins Tacky Merchandise:

"Low-quality, expensive, poorly-designed, exploitative crap."
"Like Stalin - but worse."
"Have these bloggers no shame?"
"Offensive in a totally charmless way."
"******* ** ******* ******* *** ********* ***** shite"
"Life is no longer worth living."

You could experience the same ecstasy (my products contain no illegal substances of any kind) by purchasing Shut up about Barclay Perkins Tacky Merchandise.